Taking a chance

OK, so after repeated prayers we decide to see what's up. We ask another friend and translator Ellie (Lilya is out of town) to call for us. Several attempts offer no connection as something is wrong with our phone card or country code. Did I mention we bought a Ukrainian phone card. Lilya showed us a website where you can get cheap phone cards ($10 for 120 minutes).

Today we tried on our own after Ellie's attempts. Heidi searched on the Internet for country and city codes. After ten different combinations of codes plus the number she gave us - we finally get get through. On the other end is the voice of a young girl, not Zina's. We try in vain to communicate. We hear a few girls whispering. It is 8 am Monday morning for them and perhaps they were attempting to be quiet and not disturb others. Heidi says her name a few times and towards the end of the conversation a voice repeats "Heidi", perfectly pronounced. (When the caretakers and children were here they initially mispronounced Heidi's name. Only after practice could they say it perfectly pronounced.) We believe that either Rimma or Zina was speaking. Quickly the line goes dead and we decide to not call back until we can get a translator. Besides, perhaps there was a reason they hung up fast.

An orphan with a cell phone??

Gene e-mailed us today and said that Zina wants us...to call her...on her cell phone!! Uhh, WHAT!!?? I'm excited to be able to call her and speak with her but, how does an orphan obtain a cell phone? Excuse me if that is a little "un-pc" but, I'm shocked. A million questions are running through our minds. Who bought her a cell phone? Are there other interested persons (which is a good thing for her)? Did one of the caretakers from the host program get it for her? Did one of the Virginia folks buy it? Does the phone belong to another child there. Is it OK, right, allowable, or ethical to talk to a child without the knowledge or OK of the director? Is talking on someone else's "dime" a right thing to do?

We will pray about this one and get back to ya!

We make contact

Gene found them! He relays that they girls were excited to know that we sent him there and that it was done very soon after they got back. He said that Zina had written a letter to us and she could not mail it. It seems that she did not get the envelopes and stamp money that we gave to the caretaker. He said he will take the letter, translate it, and mail it the next day. He took pictures of the girls and a picture of a card Zina made for us. It is the third picture and it says,

Heidi and Felix
Merry Christmas

I love you my family
I love you my home
I love you my cat (Pepper slept on her most nights)
I love you my frandlili (she is refering to our friend and translator Lilya)

I vont Colorado (we guess she means I want to live in Colorado)

Gene gives us some news that Rimma has changed her mind. We don't know why or if she just got caught up in the moment while she was here. She did state once when she was here to Lilya that she didn't understand why no one would adopt her, so we are a little confused. No worries though. We would never ask or make her do anything that is not in her heart, but we may help her get registered so that if she ever changes her mind, she may get a nice family. Perhaps it is her youth and not understanding what is at stake. Perhaps she has been contacted by family or by someone in the Virginia visit. Whatever the reason, we will honor her wishes. Gene said that Zina confirmed this in her letter to us.

Zina, however, wants to be with us. She is ready to go, but in our letters to them (we have written 3 in the past 3 weeks) I remind her to be strong and brave. I remind her that the process will be a couple of years and with God's blessing, we will help her. It is our sincere desire to adopt her if we can get her registered. If that never happens, we will help her get to the US, even if she is over the adoptable age. It is a promise I made to her and to God, "I will come for you" I said at the airport on the day she departed. Those were my last words to her in person. This child is our daughter, no matter what government, distance, or birth certificate states.




Rimma 11(left) & Zina 12(right)

We hire Gene

We don't wait to take action. By the end of the week we learned of a guy that will find information for us about why the girls aren't registered. He will also find out where they are and get the director's information. His name is Gene and he lives in Ukraine. Gene comes highly recommended and he conducts bio-family searches. We wire money to Ukraine and await action. It is our responsibility and calling to help these childeren get registered. We have interest in R & Z, but if we get them registered and some other family adopts them, then that is God's plan and we wil be happy for them. We start with Rimma, Zina, Eduard and Vika. Four of the 17 that came to our hosting trip.

Day 7 UOO Dec '07 Hosting Trip - Leaving us

Day Seven

The kids and their accompanying chaperones/translators were packed and ready to go. There was a very tearful goodbye at DIA with lots of hugs and promises to write. By 1:00 pm they were gone, but definitely not forgotten!

No pictures because we were all crying and not in the happiest of moods. Zina held onto Heidi and cried awhile. She then came to me (Felix) and buried her head in my shoulder. We stayed like that for at least 20 minutes, both crying. I could feel her tummy trembling against me and she was inconsolable. All I could do was to remind her that we wil do all we can to get her registered so that we or another family could adopt her.

Day 6 UOO Dec '07 Hosting Trip -

Day Six

On Monday we enjoyed some down time at each host’s home. These kids love being in a home where they are part of the family! After a lunch, provided by Crestview Church in Boulder, we all swam for hours at the Longmont Recreation Center.

We learned today that Rimma and Zina are not even registered at the SDA in Ukraine. They have been in the orphanage system their whole lives and the bio-parents rights have never been relinquished. Needless to say, we are distraught. We must fight for all these children that came here (there are quite a few more not registered) and help get them registered so that loving families may see their pictures at the SDA. If not us, then who? If not now, then when?

With the UOO's blessing and after talking with Marianna (caretaker), we call Rimma and Zina into our room. We ask them if they are interested in being adopted by us and joining our family. They look at each other in excited disbelief and after a few seconds, they squeel "Yes, yes!!" We explain to them that they are not registered and it may be a couple of years before this all happens. Zina says that her whole life she never had hope and was in dispair. She said time dragged on, but now time will pass quick because she has hope and love from a family. She asks to pray for us and we do in utter amazement. Rimma also says a prayer. Lilya translates for us.

Day 5 UOO Dec '07 Hosting Trip

Day Five

The children preformed short bell and puppet performances at two local churched before enjoying a lunch at the Teravest’s house. A trip to Walmart was next. The kids (along with a chaperone/helper) were able to spend a donated $25 gift card on whatever they wanted. The girls chose a lot of clothes and dolls; the boys bought soccer balls, music, remote control cars and tools. Pictured below are the kids preparing a huge Ukrainian meal at the Berthoud Community Center. On the menu was Borscht, cabbage rolls, perogies, cabbage salads and Ukrainian Christmas bread. The dinner was fantastic and enjoyed by over 200 people.

Day 4 UOO Dec '07 Hosting Trip -

Day Four

Rock climbing, fuse-ball, pool and video games at Five Stones. Lunch provided by The Berthoud Fire Department along with t-shirts for all the kids. The Community Christmas Party was also held at Five Stones Saturday afternoon. Despite a winter storm, there was a great turn-out. The children decorated their Christmas tree, shared Ukrainian Christmas traditions and each received a donated Christmas gift.

Day 3 UOO Dec '07 Hosting Trip -

Day Three

Today we will split the whole group in two. The boys will enjoy a dairy farm tour and bowling while the girls will go to the Carmen's house for "Salon day". The girls will get a make-over with each adult doing different parts (perhaps Heidi can fill in here once she feels better). The end result will be a glamor shot with Angie, who is a professional photographer and has a studio in her home. Wow, I can't wait to see those pictures! This morning's breakfast will be provided by a volunteer family, so Hi and I don't need to do a thing except help the kids get ready for the day. After breakfast, the volunteer family stays to visit with the children, however Zina and Rimma disappear upstairs. Heidi goes up to ask them to come down and spend time with our guests. She gets a bit of pushback from the girls. We could tell last night that these two were getting done with the whole visitation thing. They refuse to come down and instead pout on their bed with their back's to the door. Although I have a feeling of what is going on, I will ask Lilya to speak with them later in the day to find out more. I have to take off to get Lilya again. She will be accompanying me with the boys to translate for our "Farm and Bowling" boy day. Ruslan comes with me and before we leave I grab two of my cowboy hats. The smaller of the two fits him and we dash off to do some cow-pokin'. When I pick up Lilya, I ask him about himself and what interests him. He tells me that when he grows up he wants to work (do labor) for his job. It is interesting to note that most of these boys just want to be able to provide for themselves and their families...in a country where only 27% of them will find work. Ruslan is the cutie of the boys and he is quite the pleaser. He wants to help do everything and has a kind soul. At the dairy farm tour, he is everywhere and the name that keeps ringing out from everyone's voice is, "RUSLAN!". I'm tired after the tour of constantly watching after him. Tomorrow, it's someone else's turn. Later I find out from Lilya that he thought that he was brought there to work for the day! How cute. After the tour, we load up for a couple of games of bowling. I put Ruslan, Igor, Sergie, and Clark Stoesz on my team. I put the auto-bumber feature on for Ruslan and he succeeds in beating the pants off everyone on my team - TWICE! Ruslan, my man, I think we found your game! We have to pack up and leave quick after two games because we are rapidly approaching our next activity at 3pm . The kids will be reunited at a local Presbyterian church for arts & crafts. The arts & crafts they are making are actually the Christmas ornaments that they will hang on the tree they cut down the preceding day. This tree will be displayed at our church's youth building, called 5 Stones. The ornaments were donated and there are 100-200 of them for all of us to build together. Once we are there, the boys get to work and I get to see Heidi and the girls from their day of glamor. Everyone seems busy working, talking, and enjoying the time together as dinner arrives. Dinner tonight is courtesy of Subway, and everyone digs in. Once again, Zina & Rimma want to go home. Tonight and all day Saturday, our caretaker will be gone. Marianna has family here in CO that want her to spend time with them. She gets picked up by them, Heidi rounds up the kids, and I stay behind to clean and lock up the church. Sometime during the day, Lilya tells me and Heidi that Zina and Rimma said that they were "tired of being paraded around like monkeys" and that if no one was going to adopt them, they were ready to go back to the orphanage. It is hard to explain to the children that this is not an adoption trip, but rather a hosting program. We can't allow the word adoption to come up and we have to send them home afterwards. Of course, some of these kids will be adopted in the future as a result of visiting VA and CO, but that will be a future endeavor. We find out that Zina and Rimma went to Italy last year on a similar trip and now they are on this US trip. They are getting older and are concerned that they will never be adopted. Heidi and I question why these two Angels are still in the orphanage and not adopted, too. We will make a point of speaking to the head-caretaker tomorrow.When I get home, the girls are as happy and bubbly as I have ever seen them. I'm sure it has to do with the absence of Marrianna. She is sweet and quite good with the children, but she is a caretaker, which translates to rule enforcer. The girls let their guard down and for the first time are spontaneously laughing and running through the house. Zina, Rimma and Svetlana ask me to put on some music and I turn the radio station to a continuous Christmas music channel. For the next hour or so, we are treated to some very good dancing from three little girls. They are elegant, precise and graceful. Encouraged by our praise, they continue and soon the realization hits me. This is the most wonderful night of my life. No more questioning, no more praying to God for guidance, no more need for two or three toddlers. God has sent us dancing princesses to look after. The feeling is overwhelming and later we will find out that they felt it too. It is all I pray for each night now, other than the continued safety and well-being of them. We love these little girls!

Day 2 UOO Dec '07 Hosting Trip

Day Two

Heidi got up early to make breakfast for 5 kids, ages 8-12, and their caretaker. Add us and that's 8 total. Not a record, but quiet a feat for people we have never met and that don't speak English. We volunteered to take the only caretaker that doesn't speak English, because just a month earlier, God sent us Lilya.

Lilya moved to the US two years ago from Ukraine and settled in California. There she met and became engaged to a man who is finishing up seminary. He is from, you guessed it, Longmont CO! Lilya moved to Colorado to stay with her fiancees parents just last month. Lilya and Todd will get married in CO and set up home here. He will move to Colorado to find a pastoral position the weekend after the kids go home. Meanwhile, Lilya "googled" Ukraine and Colorado and found us just in time. We met her THAT NIGHT and we invited her to be part of our UOO meeting. She is ecstatic to help with the kids and translate. Go Lily, go!

OK, back to the kids. Everyone is up and comes downstairs for morning prayer. Some are awake, others are rubbing sleep from their eyes. I say grace and pray for the safe delivery and continued safety of the kids. Everyone digs in...they love the American breakfast Heidi has prepared. I'm sure it's not their first. No one but us knows what's in store for today because we haven't picked up Lilya yet. I blast off to go get her across town. When I return, they are dressed and are told of the days events from Lilya. They take an instant liking to her as she has a calm, sensitive demeanor. What a sweetheart and a terrific gift from God...of which Heidi and I call her all week.

I've been watching Zina and Rimma (pronounced Ream-aa) again. What is it about these two. Many friends that we know that have adopted from Ukraine have told us that as they are going through those picture books at the SDA in Ukraine, they knew! That is, they knew when they saw their kids. Is this the plan God has for Heidi and me?

9am and I'm concerned that we need to get going to make our 10:30 am showing at the first event. We are trekking to the Rockies, west of Ft. Collins, CO to have an outdoor mountain day for the kids. We will reunite with the other two host families and kids on a privately owned 700 acre ranch for a cookout, tree cutting, and outdoor games. All food, cooking, and associated help has been provided by the many volunteers we signed up over the past few months.

As we determine passenger location (we have a volunteer driver in addition to our SUV) I selfishly put Zina and Rimma in our vehicle. We want to be alone with them, without a translator or pressure from a caretaker, to see how they interact with us. So, of we go, Heidi and I with Zina and Rimma. A minivan carries Katya (12), her brother Ruslan (9), and Svetlana (8) along with the caretaker, Marianna, and Lilya.

Heidi brings a Russian/Ukrainian children's language book to ask the girls some questions. Along the way we find out that Zina likes to sew and Rimma likes to dance. I'm pretty sure my heart belongs to them already, and they don't know it. Heidi does though, she can read me like a book.

After the day in the mountains, we all will meet at our church, Grace Place. At GP, we will have a pizza dinner and the children will be introduced at our Thursday night service. They will also perform a Silent Night during the first five minutes of the service. The dinner and singing go well and take about three more hours in the evening. This all goes well, but Zina and Rimma are begging Heidi and me to take them home. They don't care for the spotlight. Around 8 pm Heidi and I grab our bunch and head for home. I get only Rimma and Svetlana in my vehicle. All the way home I am treated to the music of giggling, happy Ukrainian princesses from the backseat!

Day 1 UOO Dec '07 Hosting Trip - They're here!!

Day One

The kids arrived late in the evening from Virginia. Most look tired, scared and bewildered. They have had a long travel day and we just want to get them home and in bed. They landed at 8 pm and it took until 9:30 to get the baggage and kids into the correct vehicles. Each host family has two volunteer vehicles and drivers. With the drive to Northern Colorado and the settling in, I am sure it will be midnight before we are sleeping soundly. To the kids that will be 2am, East Coast time. Tomorrow's activities may have to be pushed back.

Two of the girls that we are hosting catch my eye. Rimma, age 11, is tired but excited to be here. She moves in and amongst the other children, all the while exploring and checking out her new surroundings.

Zina, age 12, is the other. She seems resigned and is sitting in a corner near the baggage carousel. I hope that she is only tired and not the recluse she seems to put on.

Both girls are staying with us in our home and we will see much of them over the next week. However, I can't help but to watch these two all night as we await baggage and a lost caretaker.

Zina catches me staring.

A Big Hurdle

We received our Form 171-h today. As many of you in the international adoption world know, this is a huge deal...a big hurdle.

As we continue writing our first blog, we remember tidbits that we forgot to pass on to you. What we forgot to tell everyone is that we are asking for 2-3 kids, ages 2-9, preferably one or two of them girls. Heidi wants older kids (based on other blogs she reads and the fact that the UOO camp this December is comprised of ages 8-17). Felix wants younger (but has an open mind too, he likes a few of the kids bios that we have seen). Felix is softening!

Hmmnn, is it too late to ammend that homestudy??!!

Acting troop?

Let me explain the "Acting troop" reference in the previous post.

The Kherson orphan groupa traveled to VA as part of a performance of the Russian Shoemaker play. This is an annual travel program that helps with the cost of the hosting program. By accompanying the acting troop and performing a few songs during the play (mostly as extras), the kids get the opportunity to travel. When the two weeks is over, the acting troop continues on to California and meets up with another groupa, while our kids fly on to meet us here in Colorado. The stay in CO doesn't showcase the play, but the kids will get to sing at a few events and perform a hand-puppet show they have rehearsed.

We can't wait!

The Ukrainians have landed!

The Kherson Ukraine orphans, their accompanying acting troop and caretakers arrived in Williamsburg, VA on November 20th. HeartforOrphans is the other group and their website is http://heartfororphans.com/press/shoemaker.pdf

The Kherson group will spend two weeks there, then fly to Denver,Colorado. We will put the kids in three groups, staying at three different host homes. We will be one of the host families and the kids will spend each evening and morning with the three host families before being reunited for their daily activities and community involvement. (It is my understanding that they are in individual homes in VA).

What we won't go into in great detail is the hours and days of planning for their one week with us. We have had overwhelming community and volunteer involvement besides the three host families participation. Since this is our first hosting trip, the three host families are the three UOO member couples: The Carmen's, the Stoesz's, and the Rogé's.

Prologue

Hello to all of our family, friends and those who are interested in our progress of adoption from Ukraine. Our family is Felix & Heidi Rogé and we will both share, write and post updates as we journey down the "adoption road". Thank you for joining us.

We have a lot to catch you up on even though this is our first post. Many things have happened and we have neglected to post events as they have happened. We won't let this happen too much and we will get better at posting as we gain experience.

OK, where to start? Heidi and I decided to adopt from Ukraine in the Summer of 2007. When we did this (and started listening to God's plan for us and our family) a whole avalanche of help, information and people where brought into our lives. One day on a whim, Heidi found an article in another local town's paper about an Ukrainian Orphan Outreach (UOO) program of Northern Colorado. She told me about it and wanted to attend. I could not as I had to work, but she went ahead. At this meeting she met our future friends and fellow board members Eric & Angie Carmen and Clarke & Chris Stoesz. Heidi learned more about the plight of Ukrainian orphans and how this small group of UOO folks needed help. Armed with tons of information, she bounced home and unloaded everything on me that she had learned. It was at this time that we started our adoption paperwork and homestudy.

Over the next several months, our adoption paperwork plodded along and we became more and more involved with UOO. The other board members, the Stoesz's and Carmen's, asked us to join and so Heidi and I became board members in October. Here is the website for UOO.

http://www.ukraineorphans.org/

Also in October, the UOO group was excited to learn that our Kherson Orphanage trip we had planned had the go-ahead to travel the first week of December to the US. We had already made plans for an orphanage hosting trip back in the summer, but it did not materialize. Many of the children's Visas had not yet been approved. Now, we would be getting 17 kids from the Kherson region along with 3 caretakers. We would be splitting the cost of the trip with an organization in Virginia. Since we were new and had a small amount of funds, UOO would host the last third of the trip and Virginia would host the first two weeks. The cost of the tickets were pro-rated based on their stay and we purchased based on a stay in Colorado from December 5th to the 11th. Since we had planned back in the summer, we jumped into action and renewed our focus to give our orphans and our community the most memorable hosting trip possible.