"The Lie"

3 weeks and 4 days! But who's counting? I wish we could go today!

My favorite blog of the moment is written by a couple from Iowa currently in Ukraine adopting two teenage girls. Dr. David writes beautifully and has amazing insight on adoption issues. For a week now I've been pondering his entry about "the lie." I can't get it out of my mind. Please check it out at: http://doctordavid.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/the-lie/

Felix and I witnessed exactly what Dr. David described while we were in Ukraine in April. The orphanage directors and caretakers do the best they can to provide for the physical needs of the children - a roof over their heads, food, supervision?, clothing, etc. The children have everything they need, right? But they are missing out on so much - the love and security of a family, a warm bed, good nutrition, limitless opportunities for education and employment. We (adoptive parents) all dream that our children will be grateful for us going to crazy lengths and great expense to "save" them. The truth is, though, that our children may never be grateful because they see life through a different lens.

We also experienced "the lie" this summer when we hosted two children for the summer. At times the girls missed their friends, their teachers, Ukrainian food and Russian language. Part of me felt tremendous compassion for the girls because they had to grow up too fast and experienced tragedies in life that I will never fully understand. The other part of me wanted to ask, "How can this NOT be better than what you have in Ukraine?" Of course that's not an appropriate question to ask children...but Dr. David certainly helped me understand a little better.

Thanks, Dr. David, for helping me crack the code!