Katya and Inna

Zina and Katya

Great news from Williamsburg!! A family is in the process of adopting one of the Ukrainian children that visited Colorado in December. They are also trying to help her older sister that will turn 18 in June.

Katya and Inna weighed heavy on my heart for months before they came to the US. I thought about them, prayed about them, talked to friends about them and thought about them some more. On one hand I felt drawn to protect them, and on the other hand I struggled with the older sister being 17 years old. But we got word before the children arrived in Colorado that a family in Williamsburg was very interested in adopting these two girls. I was relieved and thankful that the girls would be safe! The ironic part is that this family was also touched by Zina as I was touched by their girls.

Lisa - can you email me? I'd like to share photos and stories. heidiroge@excite.com

We are back

Hi everybody! We got back Monday evening at 8:30-ish. We have been busy getting back into our work & home routine. We are still washing clothes, emptying sand out of luggage, and catching up on e-mails. We had a great time and we sailed to many ports of call in the US & British Virgin Islands aboard the 45' Catamaran, the "Hound Dog". We went to Jost Van Dyke, Tortola, Norman Island, St James Island, St John, and St Thomas. The highlights for me (Felix) were; sailing into Cane Garden Bay on Tortola, going to Foxy's on Jost, and snorkeling in Maho Bay-St John. Although we had lots of fun, I can't wait to sail with our future children, and, at times I was a bit melancholy. When Zina was here during the hosting trip, she saw our photo albums of our other Island trips and said she would love to go to places like that and swim at a beach. My fun and joy will be seeing those kinds of trips through our children's eyes, in the future.

More good news! Heidi and I received our Homestudy addendum. Remember, the one requesting a change in our age ranges from 2-9 yrs old to now read 4-14 yrs old. It was done and in the mail when we got back. As I write this, Heidi is driving to the CO State Dept to get the apostil done. We anticipate sending it to Valentina tonight or in the morning. She is already hard at work translating our dossier and knows this small piece is coming. Also, Heidi's sister Sally completed the marriage certificate "Jr." blunder. She wrote a statement saying that she witnessed the marriage and that Heidi did indeed marry me, Felix "Jr." and not my dad, the other Felix. She got it notarized and apostilled. It will be in the mail soon from Illinois, where Sal lives. As this is not a requirement for the dossier, we are told to hold this in reserve and present it if and only if any official in Ukraine questions why the "Jr" was omitted on the marriage certificate. Me thinks a quick weekend trip to Nassau, Bahamas (where we were married) should be taken to ask for the "Jr. to be added. Everyone else, however, feels that this will be enough to resolve the matter. By the way, aren't you tired of me writing "Jr."?

I will post a couple of pictures of our trip as soon as I can get our camera to come back from the dead. I suspect that the humidity did it in for good. Perhaps I can retrieve pictures from the stick.

Our Last Vacation before Adoption

Sailing aboard the Moorings 45' Catamaran

We will be gone on vacation for the next 10 days. We will return Monday, January 28th.

For now, we have done everything possible for our dossier that is within our power. Heidi got to work on our missing "Jr." on the marriage certificate. We think we have it ironed out. We hope to have an apostilled document from Heidi's sister, Sally, when we get back home. Sally was a witness on our marriage certificate and can attest that Heidi married Felix Jr.

We booked a sailing vacation back in the early Fall of 2007 for this January. Felix wishes we could get our money back and go to Ukraine to see Zina. Any future overseas travel for the next two years will be to Ukraine. We will adopt other children this year, visit Zina too, and hopefully adopt Zina on a return adoption trip in 2009. So, we will go on our last vacation alone and have a good time. We will post when we get back.

New SDA Quota

The American Embassy in Kiev published the SDA's new quota. Is it good news? Bad news? Since our submission and travel dates are so uncertain, it is hard to guess how this news impacts us...

January 15, 2008

Dear Members of the American Adoption Community Interested in Ukraine:

On December 18, 2007 the Ministry for Family, Youth and Sports issued Decree #4939 approving the number of new adoption dossiers from foreign citizens that can be accepted by the Ukrainian State Department for Adoption and Protection of the Rights of the Child (SDAPRC) during calendar year 2008.

According to this Decree, the total number of the dossiers that can be accepted from all foreign citizens during calendar year 2008 is 1,453 dossiers. This number is a grand total and will not be subdivided by country or by specific categories of children. Decree #4939 cancels Decree #4137, which was the basis for the Embassy’s public notice of December 12, 2007.

We understand that your local Power-of-Attorney must show a complete adoption dossier to sign up with the SDAPRC.

http://kyiv.usembassy.gov/amcit_adoptions_eng.html

Wheels are turning at the SDA

Good news - the SDA started a new procedure in '08. Wheels are finally turning again in Kiev following the October quota shutdown and holidays. The SDA is scheduling submission dates for all of the dossiers that are "in line." I've never really understood "the line." Facilitiators jockey for position in some imaginary line at the SDA. But now the word is that the SDA provided specific dates in February and March when certain dossiers will be allowed to be submitted. That sounds better than an imaginary line, doesn't it? It provides a tiny bit of certainty in this huge process that is filled with uncertainty.

We are still waiting to hear back from our facilitator regarding the best way to provide official certification that the Felix I married is really the same person on the passport copy we provided. I have a sinking feeling I need to start investigating the apostille process for Illinois. My sister was a witness to our wedding...

It's there!

Our dossier was delivered and signed for by our facilitator/translator, Valentina! It arrived yesterday, Saturday January 12th. Valentina sent us an e-mail tonight confirming receipt. She said it had one little problem that may or may not be caught by the SDA, but that we shouldn't chance it. It seems our marriage certificate from the Bahamas is the only document that doesn't have "Jr." on it. All docs have Felix Rogé Jr. except this one. We didn't catch it. Good eye, Valentina! We will get to work on it immediately. Valentina seems confident that she can get it in line at the SDA soon. Wow! Things have moved quickly in a week!

We talk to Zina

We talked to Zina this morning for about 30 minutes. Lilya translated. Instead of "Hello"when she answered, she said "Is this my family?". It was a great way to start the weekend and it was so good to hear her voice again. This is the first time we have heard her since she left. We did have that botched phone call to her with all the whispering, but it doesn't count since we didn't really talk and she couldn't speak with us. All the other times, Ellie or Lilya called for us. We set up a schedule to talk to her every other Saturday morning.

In typical Zina fashion, she started asking if her parents were OK and well. She said she has been worrying about us, especially Heidi, since her surgery. I could see her gestures while she was talking, the ones she made while with us. Here is what was on her mind.

• The rest of the children got back from the California trip and she was happy for them that most found families. She feels a connection with them because she now has a family that loves and cares for her.
• I asked her if she needed anything and she said no, please save our money because she "knows the documents and effort to get her will cost lots and that is enough to give her".
• She is worried about Rimma and is concerned that she is throwing away a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a family and a future.
• She loves us and misses us. She only has one of the five letters we have sent her.
• She was annoyed with the inability to send us her letters. Not at us but the fact that no one at the orphanage will help her get postage or mail letters for her. We assured her that we will get postage to her when Lilya's brother and sister come to see her in February.
• She loves us, dearly!

As you can see, Zina is a compassionate and sweet girl that thinks of other before herself. That was how she behaved while here and part of her wonderful personality that makes her a perfect fit for our family. We are convinced that God sent her to us and wants us to do everything possible to take care of her. We hope to adopt her once she gets registered and that may take 2 years or so, or never, if the courts never relinquish her. But make no mistake, we have been charged with her care and we will do so, now and forever.

Zina, we love you. Our extended family and friends love you, and, everyone who reads this blog loves you too! Thank you for your returned love and kind heart.

Dad

Paris, France

According to Fedex.com, our dossier has traveled from Longmont to Boulder to Indianapolis to Paris...and it already left Paris. For where? I don't know. But it's darn close to Ukraine!

Everyone's question to me is, "When do you think you'll go?" We don't know. But I found two other families that Cathy assigned to Valentina, and they have been waiting to be submitted since September 2007 and June 2007. Here are their websites:

http://ukraineforeverfamily.squarespace.com

http://stacianddamon.blogspot.com

Then again, last spring the Abella family had their dossier submitted in 14 days. Yes, 14 days!!! Why the difference? The Abella's requested a sibling group of 3 children, which may have put them to the front of the line. Also, the U.S. met its "quota" for Ukrainian adoptions (set by the SDA) in October and they aren't accepting new dossiers until mid-January. So really three months of their delays are due to bad luck.

Bottom line...it's anyone's guess when we travel. Hopefully in 2008!!!

Dossier Day!

All 21 documents with their apostilles & Heidi sending our Dossier to Ukraine at Fed-Ex




Well, the day has arrived! At the beginning of the week, Heidi finished getting our updated (6 month rule) medical forms and we completed the power of attorney forms. I had to meet her at the notary's office during a busy day at work. Heidi got our dossier down to the Colorado Dept. of State yesterday for the apostille process. Today she went back down to Denver to pick them up and she sorted them at home. We have three copies of the Dossier.

We are excited to announce that WE HAVE SENT OUR DOSSIER!!! Yes, we were shouting there. What seems like an impossible task is done! We will have to keep an eye on our document expiration spreadsheet (6 month rule), but the hard document gathering is complete.

Our US agency, Ukrainian Angels (Cathy Harris) assigned us our assistant (facilitator) in Ukraine. Her name is Valentina. We say assistant because Ukraine doesn't allow facilitators. In Ukraine she is called our "translator", but she "facilitates" our adoption process and represents us in line at the Ukraine Sate Dept. of Adoption (SDA). So, she is our facilitator. Believe me, we were confused too the first time this was explained to us! It is Valentina's job to translate our dossier into the Ukrainian language (not Russian, more on this later) and get it into the SDA. Once the SDA gets it, they have 20 days to accept it or reject it. If they accept it they will notify us of our appointment. This is the official invitation to come to their country to accept a referral. A referral, for those who don't know, are the children we have selected to meet.

About the Ukrainian vs. Russian language reference above. The country has both languages. Russian was the official language during the Soviet era, Ukrainian is the official government language. Therefore, all documents are in Ukrainian. But, most everyone speaks Russian and Ukrainian. The east bank of the country (split by the Dnieper River) favors Russian and the west bank favors Ukrainian. In school, Ukrainian is taught. Confused yet? Nyet?

Jordan went home

Our daughter, Jordan, went home today. We are sad to see her go and we can't wait to have her back for the summer. Jordan lives with her mother in El Paso, Texas. The house is too quiet and we miss her. It sure is a pleasure when she is here. Jordan supports our adoption and excitedly awaits additional bothers or sisters into our family. She may accompany us to Ukraine if she is out of school. Speaking of school, Jordan has maintained straight A's for years now and we are so proud of her. Way to go Jordan! May all your dreams come true!

Pappa & Pappa Jr

Felix's dad, Louis, visited us for the holidays. He helped us construct a built in shelf in the basement for our books. Dad is an accomplished carpenter and has helped us on several projects around the house each time he visits. Hmmmnn, may be we will pre-order those French doors!

Just the facts, Ma'am

First things first, Heidi was released this morning and she is home doing fine. Friends and family, thanks for the visits, calls, and e-mails. Also, thank you for sending flowers to Heidi and donations to UOO http://www.ukraineorphans.org/ .

And now (cue the Dragnet music, Daaa, da, da, dant!) some facts we discovered from today's phone call to Zina.

Lilya is back home. She called Zina for us this morning and has established a time for us to talk with her every other Saturday morning. We had a list of questions to ask her and some clarification on existing matters. If you have been reading the blog, you know what they are. So here is what we learned:

• The cell phone is indeed hers. She said that an Italian organization that sponsors her orphanage gave it to her as a Christmas gift this year. Every year they asked each child what they would like for Christmas. She explained that she needed it to talk to her parents in America and they got it for her. Talk about God's work! She wants us to get her a new one and she wants to give the "Italian" one to Rimma. She also wants the phone to be simple, being concerned of what it will cost us. How thoughtful! As we were concerned about the paying of the phone anyway, we had plans to do this already. We will take care of this through Lilya's family that lives in Ukraine.


• Zina refers to Heidi and me as her parents in all conversations, including those with friends and teachers there.


• Zina said that Vika, Rimma and she cried all the way home on the plane. She told them, "You only left friends behind. I left my family behind".


• Zina said she studied hard for her exams this week (and get this) "Because she didn't want to let her parents down"! What an incredible young lady!


• Zina said "Hello" to us 1000 times during their conversation.


• Zina said she left clothes in the dresser because she plans to come back for them. (I found these clothes the day after they left and bawled my eyes out.)


• Someone (perhaps Ellie) explained to Zina that the adoption process will take two years, so she said she is prepared for the wait. Lilya said Zina was doing the math on how old and what grade she will be in when it happens.

OK, go blow your nose and wipe away the tears and I'll tell ya about Rimma.

• Rimma again apologized a thousand times for not wanting to leave Ukraine. She is afraid that she has hurt our feelings and that we are mad. Lilya relayed that this of course is not the case.


• We found out why Rimma doesn't want to be adopted. She is afraid of new things like new food, new language, new everything. She said she loves to travel and takes part in all the hosting trips so she can get out of the orphanage. She explained that she wishes she could just go on the trips to get out of there. She wishes that everyone would not ask to adopt her. She said she loved Italy, Virginia, and Colorado, but that she wishes they were in Ukraine. She told Lilya that she wants to travel the world and have nice things, but have a home in Ukraine. I think that is very admirable.

Well, that is all for now. Thanks everybody!

Emergency Room

Last night at 11:30 Heidi got home from volleyball. Did we mention she plays 2 person sand VB? She woke me up and told me she was having stomach pains. She thought it was because of a turkey sandwich she had earlier. The pain got worse and worse as the night progressed and neither one of us got any sleep. Around 5 am or so she finally relented to my constant requests to go to the doctor. She spent the next couple of hours in the bathroom, "getting ready" and somewhere in there, I dozed off. I awoke to her crying in the bathroom and so we set off to the clinic to get there by 8am when they opened. No sooner did we get there, she started having the most intense abdominal pain she has ever experienced. The doctor took a look at her and settled on three possible outcomes - kidney stones, twisted ovary, or appendicitis. He sent us to the hospital for further evaluation. Heidi cried like I have never seen before as I drove to the emergency room.

The doctor had called ahead so that when we arrived, they wheeled her straight in to ER triage. A blood test, CT scan, and pelvic exam revealed appendicitis. She was taken straight into surgery and came out within 45 minutes. I had to wait about an hour to see her and in the meantime, our friends Aimee and Lisa arrived at the hospital to see us. When we got in to see her, she was excited and started speaking with us non-stop until it was time to wheel her into the surgical overnight "hotel" room. Wow, it's a pretty swank joint, but I'm sure she would rather be home.

Long story short - She kicked butt in Women's queen of the beach VB tourney, thought she ate some bad bird, rescheduled her day, called in sick, went to the doc's, traveled to the ER, donated a few tubes of blood, got some way cool legal drugs, buzzed back and forth in the CT scanner, got rid of yucky old appendix, woke up in time to tell me and our friends about her awesome play in the tournament, ate some pancakes, talked to family in Chicago, and now she is going to sleep for the night. So, she is OK and doing fine.

They expect to release her in the morning and she will be on the couch all day. For now, we await the next CRISIS!

Dossier Update

Our dossier is almost complete! We have been working on it consistently since the first week of June, so this is a huge milestone. For those of you wondering what could possibly take so long, here is a list of what we have to include in the package we send to Ukraine:

1. Home Study
2. Adoption Agency's License
3. Social Worker's License
4. Letter from agency about social worker
5. I-171 (INS pre-approval for our kids to be US citizens - this form is like GOLD)
6. Passport copies
7. Colorado Criminal Clearances
8. Employment Verification Letters
9. Doctors' Medical Forms
10. Doctors' Licenses
11. Deed to our home
12. Marriage License
13. Petition to Adopt
14. Letter of Obligation

Whew!! The only thing we're waiting for is updated medical forms from our doctors. We had our medical exams and blood tests in July. We needed updated forms because Ukraine requires that no document be more than 6 months old when you submit your dossier.

The next step will be to take all of these documents to the Secretary of State in Denver http://www.sos.state.co.us/pubs/bingo_raffles/apostille.htm to have them apostilled. This is an authentication of each notary's signature. We should receive the documents in two days...and they it's off to Ukraine for translation.

We have amended our home study to read 1 to 3 children, ages 4-14. We did this in response to the overwhelming feeling we received while hosting the camp in December and from a friend's blog. Leslie who adopted Kristina, also showed us that older children are just as precious. See her blog at http://kristinasstory.blogspot.com/ Initially, as most adopters do, we thought we had to have young children. So, we initially put 2-9 yr olds on our home study.

We should explain that we have made the difficult decision of going ahead with our already planned and prepared adoption for this year. In is painful and difficult because we will not be able to adopt Zina this time because of her registration issue and the fact that there is a mandatory 12 month wait for international adoption after she gets registered. (It will be a couple of years, we estimate)

This does not mean that we have given up. On the contrary, we are taking steps and we have communicated to her orphanage director that we want to host her in the US all summer. We will continue the fight to get her registered. We have spoken with the director and have let him know we will help him with the registration process of not only Zina, but the other children that visited on the hosting program. The director asked us to wait until February and call him to find out what action has been taken by the courts on his parental relinquishment request. We fear nothing will happen as has been the case on his last couple of requests (not his fault, just the bureaucratic system). We will wait and see in February, but we will "lawyer up" in preparation for non-action for her. We will, at some point really soon, have to tell her this and I'm sure it will not be pleasant for us all.

No matter what some piece of paper says or what governments say, she is our daughter in our hearts. We will get her home. We can see that our future vacations will be to Ukraine to visit her, probably twice a year. And yes, we will go a week early when we get our eventual appointment to see her and be with her. She is our family now and her portrait hangs on our wall at home. God bless and keep you Zina, we love you!

Yep, she has a cell phone!

Our friend Ellie who speaks Russian & Ukrainian made contact with R & Z this morning, evening their time. Zina does in fact have a cell phone. It was given to her by an Italian family. We know that R & Z went on a hosting trip to Italy in 2006. I'm not sure still how she came by the cell phone or what to do about calling her. Perhaps we could find out more and pick up the bill? Zina made it clear that she wishes to be adopted by only us and she wants to come to Colorado.

Ellie spoke to Rimma and she confirmed that she doesn't want to be adopted. She wouldn't say why just like she wouldn't tell Gene. She apologized dozens of times, Ellie said. She wanted us to know she is sorry and didn't want to hurt our feelings. Ellie asked if she would ever change her mind and she said, maybe. Again, we would never pressure her and we will respect her wishes. We just don't want to getting ready to take Zina home and then have a crying regretful child. So, we will include her in the registration process.

When Ellie asked Zina if she changed her mind, she said no. In fact, in Ellie's words, she said she wants to come, with an exclamation point!

We fear that Zina doesn't understand that this will take a long time, even though we have expressed this again and again. We will make a point of writing her every week and letting her know we care and we are here. And, of course, reminding her to be patient. I know that this is the toughest part of all for a 12 year old.

Sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing by telling her early and before she left that we want to adopt her and we will come for her one day. But then I am reminded of what she said that last night with us...about having hope and that time will be easier now.

I am also comforted in the words of a book that I am reading now entitled, Fields of the Fatherless by C. Thomas Davis. On page 86, he talks of The Power of Planting Seeds. There he writes,

"One of the most significant seeds we can ever plant - especially in the life of
someone who is fatherless - is the seed of hope. A field has no hope of a future
crop without the planting of a seed. Hope is vital to every person's survival,
especially when the odds are completely against him."