Love One Another

Wall climbing at the Longmont Rec Center this weekend

"Love one another"! That's what the sidewalk inscription read. Saturday as I was riding my bike with Nadia and Julia, I stopped to wait for the girls at this particular spot for no other apparent reason. I looked down at the scribbled words and at first I thought it would read someone's name or a "Jack loves Jill" type of thing. But no, there it was. Someone had come out (10 or more years ago) and written those words in the drying concrete. The sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, it was 60-ish degrees, the mountains were gleaming in their majesty, and overhead (no kidding) a Bald-Eagle was circling over me and the girls. The girls rode up behind me and kept quiet as I said a quick prayer for all that has been bestowed upon me. I told them about the importance of the bird circling over us and that she was a national treasure, the most important bird to the US and a rare treat to see one.

I explained to the girls about the writing. I hope they understood, I don't know. The kids have been struggling with that one lately. We have only a short list of 10 rules in the Rogé home. The first and most important one is this: Be kind (or nice) and love one another. However, they have a knock-down-drag-out fight at least once a day. Usually Nadia wins with one of the other two in tears or extremely upset. She has a way of stabbing them in the heart with her words. On the rare occasion (yesterday) when she loses, she pouts and force-crys. I call it pretend crying because she makes herself do it. I am constantly reminding them of rule #1!

Of course, I see it for what it's all about. Nadia is losing her reign, her control, her power over the other two. The other two now realize, through the empowerment Heidi and I have given them, that they too have an opinion and that it can be heard and expressed. Also, a lot of times, Nadia just wants her way. She tells the other two that they can't do this or they can't do that for no other reason other than it is her will. Julia and Kolya are branching out and pushing past Nadia's boundaries and control. For the first time in their young lives, they are free.

I don't want to paint a dismal picture because actually, things are wonderful. This is really our one and only source of pain right now. I call it growing pains because the little ones are growing into their own and Nadia is growing into her new role of eldest sibling instead of mother-hen. The kids are extremely clingy and needy right now, too. They constantly compete for our attention and we can't be in all places at all times. This weekend at the pool I tried my best to equally divide my time between them. But as usual, one or more of them thinks that you are spending all your time with someone else and they get moody and pouty. We had to leave after one such episode. No matter that you are at the pool with slides, a lazy river, a diving board, etc, etc, Ugghh! During bedtime reading, they will time you on their watches to see who is getting more parent time. I routinely hear, "Koya, 25 minutes. Julia 30 minutes. Me, 5 minutes!", followed by fake "boo-hoo-hoo". I jokingly told her last time, "Ooopps, thanks for pointing out to me that I shorted Kolya by 5 minutes!" I can stand the "needy-ness" from them. I like being the center of their universe! But really, why do I have the only family in America where siblings fight! (Hee-hee, I thought you'd like that one!).

If the past few weeks have been painful, then the past weekend has made up for it by being sweet and loving. Nadia routinely takes my arm and walks with me wherever we are going. She did so on her first day of school in front of other kids. I'm loving it and I know that there will come a day when she figures out that it isn't cool to walk arm-in-arm with your Papa. Nadia has also become more "touchy-feely" with me too. She likes to cuddle (there's that word again, Matt) with me on the couch, rug, wherever when are reading or watching a movie with the family. Kolya is already there and likes to snuggle up too (i'm killin ya, aren't I, Matt). Since being home, I can now rub Kolya's back, head and shoulders and he loves it. I no longer have to sneak a kiss on the head to him or any of the others for that matter. The same goes with Heidi and their relationships. I dare say that Nadia is becoming a daddy's girl and Kolya is becoming a mamma's boy. Julia is all Heidi. We have our moments, though. She came to me and sat with me at dinner the other night. She also hopped into bed Sunday morning when Heidi got up. She just felt the need to put her arms around me I guess. She stayed for 15 minutes. Also, she needs me when she wants to be defended against Nadia, when she wants to wrestle, or when we are in the pool. Cool stuff!

They are slowing becoming adjusted to life in a family and they love it. They tell our friend Lilya this, so we know. We also know because of the "glow" in their full faces. Faces, that unlike the gaunt, ashen ones we saw in Ukraine, are full of energy, vitality and happiness. Little Kolya shared a story with Heidi the other day about one of his reasons that he is thankful to be in our family. I saw that she is writing an entry, so I won't steal her thunder. She can tell you about it. It seems you may get more than one post this week!

The response, "Rule number One!" is heard several times throughout the day whenever a fight or argument breaks out. The other day I heard Kolya yell it to one of his sisters. Nadia rolled her eyes and repeated, albeit sarcastically "Be nice, be nice!" the other day when I got onto her for yelling at her sister. They get it, they understand, and they do love one another. And, they are starting to love us more with each passing day. Love one another is taking hold at the Rogé home.

~ Felix ~

Open Wide!

Yesterday was the first of many upcoming dental and medical visits. Going to the doctor, dentist, and ophthalmologist are welcomed by most orphans that I have met. They value the importance and understand that it is in their best interests that we are doing this. Our kids are no exception. Even Zina asked us if we would be taking care of her health needs once she gets adopted.

Starting everything off was Nadia. She was scheduled first for the dentist so that the other two would get an idea of what they would be going through next week. We took the whole family and made an evening of it. Nadia was scheduled for an hour's worth of checkups, X-rays, and cleaning. However, her teeth were in such great shape, she was done in 30 minutes! The dentist was astounded, he has seen our other host orphans and what dental challenges may be present in them. Nadia's teeth are straight, clean & white, and without cavities at all! Her gums are in good shape too. Praise God for this bit of good news! At a glance, Julia and Kolya's teeth seem to be in good condition, too. Whether this is good hygiene habits or dental cleanings performed by our children's wonderful former Spanish host families, we don't know. We and the children are eternally grateful in either case! I didn't see any filings for former cavities and I didn't ask the dentist if he saw evidence of prior work, but we will take it, a clean bill of dental health! One down, two to go!

The dentist let the other two come in and see their sister doing well in the chair. He joked that Julia seemed more interested in Nadia's teeth than Nadia was! She did have a lot of questions and watched all that she could in the few minutes they were allowed. It was good to see Dr. Kelson, Linda and Nicole again. Even the "Old Hand", Dr. McCarty, came out to see me, as he usually does when I'm there. We are both old Air Force dogs, so we have a bit in common. It feels like family there and they have been following our blog via Linda's updates. I saw tears in your eyes, Linda, I did! Thanks guys for all the care you give us!

Since we had some time left in Nadia's appointment, I brought up the fact that I needed some dental attention. I was going to wait until my cleaning in February, but it has been bothering me lately. I felt as if I broke a tooth or a filing while in Ukraine. There was a piece of bone in something one night at a restaurant and I felt it then. Sure enough, a quick examination by Nicole and Dr. Kelson revealed a broken tooth and some missing filing. I've had this tooth extensively repaired in the past, always dodging the inevitable expensive work that was needed. This time I accepted the fact that the whole tooth will need a crown, an expensive one at that, just shy of a thousand bucks! Insurance will pay half, so it's not too bad. I will have it done next week.

English is coming along at an outstanding rate. My favorite times of day are homework help, wrestle-mania, and bedtime story reading. Little Kolya is his class favorite and he is learning English the quickest, he is a little sponge. Julia needs the most help and will be a challenge, but she speaks the most Spanish and prefers it to the other languages. Problem is, Heidi's Spanish is limited and mine is almost non-existent. Nadia loves her New Comers class and is doing quite well. All three have been placed in grades, but are being allowed to be comfortable and proceed at their own pace. Nadia will be in the New Comers class for another year to year-and-a-half. She is in 6th grade, Julia is in 5th and Kole is in 4th. Everyday they all ride the bus to and from school and arrive home with smiles on their faces. We have received great reports from all three teachers thus far.

I used to wonder why all the adoptive parents either slowed down or stopped blogging all together once they arrived home. After all, I was entitled to know what was happening on the home front, too! I had been a faithful follower, perhaps not ever commenting, but a faithful follower none the less! I gotta know! That's my family too, albeit my electronic blog family (lol). Believe me, I feel your pain! I want to tell you everything about everything. But, our three take up lots of our time. We hear, "Mom" and "Pop" more times a day than you blink your eyes! And it's fun, too! It's what we wanted, it's what we prayed for, it's our gift from the Father. But OH MY GOSH...can I have a minute KIDS! Needless to say, we are hurriedly establishing boundaries, rules and relationships.

So how about a compromise? I'll post once a week, more if time allows or something big happens, and I'll see you here on Monday or Tuesday? That way, you can find out what we did, if anything, for the past week and the weekend. Once things get rolling for Rimma and Zina we will ramp up the adoption process again and of course, we will tell you all about it. For those of you who have told me that we should write a book, put me in touch with a good co-writer and editor! We need to finish the basement for Rimma and Zina and perhaps one more boy to round things off. I gotta pay for it somehow, any one got a pen??!!

~ Felix ~

The Rogé Village

Our kids had the day off from school due to placement issues. They start full-time again tomorrow, Wednesday, January 7th. Lilya babysat for us because Heidi nor myself could slide our work commitments. The kids love to speak Ukrainian with her and this will allow us to keep our goal of helping the kids retain their native language. Lilya is wonderful and we are praying that she and Todd continue to have a happy and successful start in their marriage. Lilya is looking for work and Todd is a new pastor looking for a church home. If anyone in the Northern Colorado foothills is looking for a pastor, let him know!


Since the kids had a lot of time on their hands, we came home to this creation. It's named (by them in their handwriting) Rogé Village. It comes with adequate parking and a garden. They collected rocks, pine cones, pieces of a pine tree and berries from outside to make it. The main street is Louis St (my middle name). How cool! I'm not sure why there is a baby in a bassinet next to Mama & Papa? Hmmnn, are they suggesting something?

First Day of School

Pictures are worth a thousand words, here are a few from today and this past weekend.

(from top, counterclockwise) Julia & Kolya outside Rocky Mountain Elementary; Up at the crack of dawn with Nadia at Trail Ridge MS, later we would enroll at Heritage MS; Julia (5th grade) & Kole (4th grade) reluctantly follow Papa into the school

Gifts of clothes arrived today from Heidi's relatives in Illinois. "Thank You for the new clothes & books!" says N, J & K.

Chasing groundhogs & rabbits at Sandstone Ranch with Longs Peak in the background

"Sheriff Felix, thars a new new posse in town and yer betta git ready!" (guess who found Papa's cowboy hats)

Remembering Zina and Rimma

Zina called us today. We had been trying to call her all morning, but to no avail. She did our usual routine of dropping a call into us and we called her right back. All incoming calls are free for them. Despite the ration of 25 grivna on the phone each month, the girls manage to use it all up by calling and texting each other at the internat.

Zina was noticeably upset as she asked for a translator. Usually when she does that, she wants to go into some detail in her conversations. We obliged her and got Lilya on the phone and returned a three way call to her. Thank you for your help today, Lilya!

Zina explained that she was upset because yet again one of her caretakers (we know who, just not saying) has been telling her that she will never be able to come home to us and she will never be eligible for adoption. A few friends have been telling her the same. These people that have been telling her these things don't know about her situation and are speculating. I don't know if they are intentionally hurting her feelings, but they need to stop. She knows we are doing all we can and that it is a document problem. We reassured her that it is our intention to return for her and Rimma once they are eligible. Without going into much detail, we told her that we have secured the help of a good lawyer who says registering her is possible. She knows we are doing all we can and in her words, "she just needed to hear our voices ." We let her know too that if she never gets registered that we would try to bring her home with a student visa. She asked if there was anything that she could do and we told her to pray and to be on her best behavior, not to anger anyone. She told us that she and Rimma pray for their dream to be with us, everyday.

She asked if it were possible that she and Rimma could come home and spend the summer with us. We said that we would try and we reminded both girls that we asked the director last summer and he said no. But, that was before he knew of us. Zina said that it is her English teacher's dream to travel to America too and Heidi and I asked the teacher in November if she would chaperon the girls if we could get permission for them to come. We promised to try again, but we couldn't guarantee that the director would say yes or that visas could be secured for all three. The girls were satisfied with our answer.

We talked to Rimma for awhile too. She said that she pretends and dreams everyday that we will come for them. She too prays and asks for us to be a family. I know the Lord hears these little girls and that they will be home forever, one day.

~ Felix ~

The Miracle of the Moment

"Sabaka Dom"

The Miracle of the Moment. Yep, another SCC reference. If you haven't caught on by now, he's my favorite artist. The song speaks of the wish that some people have to go back and redo their "if onlys". But by doing that, you will miss out on the miracle of the moment, the things right there in front of you. I look daily for those miracles and "firsts" of our new children. It is incredible when one happens. This is why I haven't blogged in a few days. The other day I caught myself watching television by myself for about 20 minutes. I suddenly realized that the kids were in another room enjoying themselves and I had the overwhelming desire to be with them. So I turned it off and went to them, and a Papa vs kids wrestling match broke out. It's things like that to which I am referring.

But enough about me, you're probably wondering about the kids. For those of you still in Ukraine, please tell them that we haven't used them for body parts and we don't have any indentured servants... yet! Officials opposed to international adoption routinely tell orphans this, no kidding!

The kids have had a few firsts. I eluded to this earlier and I reiterate, it's wonderful when you witness one. Coming through the airport in Amsterdam, the kids asked for water, so I pointed to the water fountain. They had no idea what it was for or how to work it. They were amazed when I did show them. Kole waved his hands in front of the hands-free paper towel dispenser in the bathroom several times...another first. All three were excited that you could serve yourself ice and a choice of cola at Chipotle this past Sunday. (We limited them to three drinks, a minor indulgence). Who knew that you could get water and ice from in front of the refrigerator or that you could swim indoors in warm water with several pools to choose from??!! And did you know that bicycles don't perform well on icy streets, splat! Many firsts and life lessons are poring in, it's hard to keep up with them.

We have had a few families come over to see the kids. Most of them have been families with Ukrainian adoptees. The kids met the Barrett's children, Mari & Misha at the airport. The Stoezs kids, Rhya, Luke and Natalie came over to our house this past weekend. They also took Julia and Kole to the children's church with them. Kole asked if he could go back the next day! We explained that he could go every Domingo (Sunday). The kids met the Garrett's daughter, Anya, too! We watched Nadia and we could tell that she was quite taken with her. It was as if she was a celebrity. Anya has been in the US for two months and her English is great. I think this gives Nadia an extra boost of confidence and she is extremely happy to talk with someone who speaks her native language. Today, our friend Lilya came over for a few hours to see them. Lylia said that they told her they are extremely happy to be here. The kids have met many Ukrainian friends and they have realized that have kept our promise of remembering their heritage.

The kids have been hounding me (pun intended) for several days for a dog. It's getting out of control! My sweetie, Heidi, has relented and agreed. Something that would never happen lest a certain place freeze over. I said yes too but told them that it would be a process that would take several days or weeks to research and decide upon. Yeah, right! We will probably have a pooch by weeks end! I also told them that they would have to feed, water, clean up after, exercise, and poop-scoop the backyard. They all exclaimed, "YES, YES" and Heidi threatened to get out the video camera as evidential proof of said agreements.

Nadia wants a medium to large dog while the others want every dog we look at on the Internet. Right now all three of them are in the basement painting a huge box, aptly named the "Sabaca Dom" (Dog House). I tried to explain to them that a more sturdy and permanent kennel crate would be a better choice and that they were wasting their time. But that's all we have now here at the Roge Dom and it is too cute of a sight to make them stop.

I started steering them to my favorite breed, the German Shorthair Pointer. We had one before, but they can be "high energy" dogs. I like the short coat and everything else about them but Heidi fears the rambunctiousness (is that a word) of the breed. We have that already in three wonderful kids. She feels that they are enough. Awww, cu-mon Honey!

After a few days rest, the whole family is settling into a routine. The kids have seen their new schools and they will start on Monday. I went back to work yesterday, Monday, but I have Thursday and Friday off for the New Year holiday as well as the routine Saturday and Sunday. I think Heidi will start back to work next week after we put the kids in school. Nadia is excited that she can bike the two blocks to school. The two younger ones have a few more blocks to traverse and over a busy road, so they weren't too happy that she will get to ride her bike to school and not them. We explained that perhaps they can do it when it's warmer and Mom or Dad could follow. We told them that they get to ride a cool yellow school bus, and this seemed to extinguish the heated debate.

I continue to have Rimma and Zina on my mind. Zina called us on Sunday, so we called her back. She talked to Heidi for a few minutes and Heidi asked her if we needed to get a translator on the phone. She said no and in fact her English was terrific. Chock it up to her month long visit to the US or the fact that she wants to learn for her future life with us. Zina asked to talk to me, so Heidi handed me the phone. She eagerly said, "Hi Pop, how are you?" I told her that I was fine but that I missed her and she said the same. I asked her if she liked her trip to the US while she was performing the Shoemaker play. She said yes, but she "likes Colorado more"! A gentle reminder from Papa's first Ukrainian daughter that she still desires our home. I told her that I want her to have Colorado and our family too and to keep praying for her dream. As we ended our conversation she told me that she loves me and I told her the same. Another "Miracle of the Moment"!

Christmas Day

First day as new Americans...a very special Christmas!