Good Intentions

"My fellow Americans. I'm pleased to announce that I've signed legislation outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin bombing in five minutes." -Ronald Reagan,
joking during a mike check before his Saturday radio broadcast.

The above statement by Ronald Reagan was, at the time, an innocent phrase spoken when he was asked by the sound people to say something so that they could do a check of the equipment. However, it had the effect of sending the wrong message to the Soviet premier and a rise in the defense posture of that nation.

Many times throughout the week, I am presented with a well intended colleague or friend who asks questions about our adoption. Sometimes the questions are well thought out and express the questioners desire to know more about "why we did what we did". At other times, the questions make me scratch my head in bewilderment. But, however insensitive or unintended the question, I make use of a snippet in time to "educate" my good natured friend. After all, you don't know if ya don't know, my dad would always say.

There's no reason to get your feathers ruffled and posture for war like the Russians did over Reagan's statement. I don't get mad, upset or strike back at such comments. Rather, I give a subtle hint to deflect the negativity or hurtfulness of the situation. Most folks aren't even aware of what they say and I believe that they should be forgiven and the question answered in true Christian fashion. We look at it as a chance to educate people about adoption. We don't feel like someone has personally attacked us. People will say insensitive and stupid things. I am sure that I have said my share of things that may come across insensitive or wrong, when I truly didn't mean to do so. I believe most people mean no ill will with what they say, they just aren't educated in this area because they have not had any personal experience with it.

That being said...in the spirit of education and just to have a good laugh, here are a few that I've gotten over the past couple of years, my comments in italics:

- I hate it when people adopt somewhere else. You should adopt one of your own, from this country. God bless you, I'm still going to Ukraine.

- Why do those women in 3rd world countries keep having babies if they can't take care of them? They should all be sterilized. God bless you again!

- Adoption is so wrong. I don't believe there should be any adoptions (from the same person that said the first two comments) Dude, weren't you adopted? Oh, and God bless you! He adopted us!

- Who is their real mom? Variation: Who is their natural mother?

- Are they brothers and sisters? (We get this one a lot about Rimma & Zina, too)

- Variation: Are they REAL brother and sisters

- I didn't realize they weren't yours!

- Now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant and have one of your own. Gee, I hope not!

- How much did they cost? They are still costing, have you seen my grocery bill?

- You really got lucky, they could have had problems! Have you been reading this blog?

- I could never adopt, I want my own children.

- I could never adopt. I could never raise someone else's child.

- I want to adopt, once I have my own real kids.

- Does it bother you that they won't be your own?

- Your children are adopted? They look so normal!

- The dreaded phrase, "Come on, you know what I mean..."

- Aren't they communists? How does the Air Force feel about that?

- That they look just like me, enough to be my "real kids"

- You guys are Saints! Thank you, but we aren't. You, yourself could experience the joy of adoption.

- No matter how many times you say "Ukraine", everyone else says "the Ukraine". Enjoy your trip to the Mexico, the France, the Italy!

Comments anyone?

~ Felix ~

Outward sign of an Internal Faith

All you who have been baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

Galatians 3:27 (NIV)

In my lifetime, I have been baptized and I have seen many baptisms. Yet every baptism leaves me with a sense of renewal—not just renewal of the person being baptized, but renewal of our own lives, and of the life of the Church. Since coming home from Ukraine our children have attended service with us at our church home, Grace Place. Growing and learning in their own faith, our kids made the internal decision to accept Christ forevermore into their lives this summer. They asked us about baptism and we all attended the class recently to understand the importance and reasons behind the act.

This Sunday past, the whole family gave our outward sign of our internal faith by being baptized during our annual church in the park service. Kolya, Julia, Nadia, Jordan, Heidi and yes, Dad, all were baptized as a family. Our friends the Pittels & the Volfs were in attendance to witness our faith & trust in Christ.

We know all too well that most of us will fall, again and again, throughout our lives, despite this wondrous gift of faith. Yet at every baptism, there is a sense of hope, of expectation, that flows from the knowledge that this child is a new holy one of God. Amen.

~ Felix ~

Adoption Information Meeting

A public service message from our ministry, Ukraine Orphan Outreach (UOO).

Ukraine Orphan Outreach 18519 WCR 5 Berthoud CO 80513

I Like Numbers!

We have received notice that two families have started the process to adopt kids from the 2009 UOO summer camp. Not just 'maybes' or 'perhaps', real work has started and dossiers are being put together! Wow! In addition, there are five families, including us, from our area that are possibly going to Ukraine by year's end to adopt. God's plan and the work of UOO is in action!

That got me to thinking! Just how many "known" Ukies do we have in with close ties to the UOO organization? (If you have supported us, have attended an event or two or know us, I counted ya!) Let's see...there are:

The Barrett's = 2
The Garrett's = 1
The Christopherson's = 3
The Stoesz's = 3
The Volf's = 2
The Hoffmann's = 2
The Houghton's = 1
The Rogés = 3

Wow, that's 17 kids! Did I forget anybody? Please fill me in & please forgive my memory lapse if I did.

So if you add the potential adoption numbers for the rest of the year, we come up with these numbers. (Prospective Adoptive Parents for confidentiality of those unannounced, families listed by permission):

PAP1 = 1 or more
PAP2 = 1 or more
PAP3 = 1
DeYoung's = 1
Pittel's = 1
Houghton's = 1
Rogés = 2 plus Z one day

That's at least another 8 for a total of 25. We could start our own little Ukrainian villiage!

Another cool note of interest: The UOO camps started in 2007 and there was a summer camp in 2008 and of course, this one in 2009. When the two families bring back a child or two from the 2009 camp and when we get home with Rimma, there will have been a child adopted from each of our three camps! Nice!

~ Felix ~

Meet Cha Halfway...in Nebraska!

Heidi and I spend a weekend or week every summer with her sister Sally and family. Before we had kids, it was our way of having kids in our life and watching them grow. Some of my fondest memories are with Sally and Gary's kids; Shannon, Drew & Jessica. Some years they come to Colorado, other years we go to them in the Chicago area. Also, they own a nice cozy cabin near the Dells in Wisconsin...a great time to swim, boat, fish and catch up on summer reading. The kids are a blast to hang out with!




This year, neither family could make the entire trip to one another's state of residence. Due to other things going on, we had only a four day weekend available to us this year. So, the wives put their heads together and came up with a plan to meet each other half-way. One family would go west while the other would travel east. The half-way point for us all happened to be Omaha, Nebraska! The ladies reserved tee-pee camp sites for us at a very nice state park just outside of Omaha on the Platte River.




All-in-all, it was a great time. Anytime our two families get together is a great time. This was the first time that the new cousins met each other, too! They loved each other!

Our numbers are bigger now and when you factor in Jordan & Holli, we swelled to 12 this year. Our friend, Mayme, came down from Iowa, so we were 13 total. Imagine packing food, clothes and sleeping bags for 12 for four days! The girl's did a great job and we only ate out the one planned time, Saturday night. Amazing! The 12 passenger van we bought a couple of months back is turning out to be a wise move. It was a lot of fun to transport everyone together, everywhere we went. Gary joked that all we needed now was to mount pop-out stop signs and flashers to be a school bus.


When Sunday came and it was time to go, everyone was sad. The kids really bonded well with their new cousins and of course, we never want to leave the Gary & Sally +3 bunch. But, all good things must come to an end and we pointed Fred (the 12 pax van) towards the west.

On the adoption front, most everything is done for our adoption of Rimma +1. Yesterday we were interviewed and we submitted out I-600's to the USCIS. They sent us to get fingerprinted so all is completed now. All we are waiting on is the 171 as a result of yesterday's work, sending the whole dossier to Ukraine, and Rimma's one year wait period to be over. Our first adoption took a year and a half from start to finish. We got the paperwork done this time in two months. It's amazing what a little experience and a cooperative adoption process can do. We are definitely on the fast track this time. We may even have to slow everything down to wait on Rimma. Our facilitator has instructions to have our SDA date on the day she becomes available. Pray for this to happen for us all. And, continue to have Zina in your prayers and thoughts.

All photos courtesy & by permission of Mayme B.


~ Felix ~

Our Kids

June 25 was our 6th month home as a family. We have grown as a family and love and trust has been firmly established as the kids have realized that we will never abandon them and that we can fulfill every promise that comes as being their parents. Each child has made remarkable progress, too! So what have we learned, and what have they learned?

Kolya:
- Loves his dad and the times we go fishing, but he's definitely a Momma's boy!
- He goes to her for comfort or questions before going to Dad
- Can read, write and speak the English language
- Encouraged to use his Russian, Ukrainian and Spanish languages, too
- Has the best English of the kids and routinely speaks "big words"
- Adds 10-20 words to his vocabulary, weekly
- Is very funny, a born-comic
- Very, very smart! Went from no English and caught up to his 4th grade's reading level
- Very smart in all other school subjects and life matters
- A pleaser by nature. Does everything you ask him with no hesitation or arguing
- Has a heart of God and a possible Pastor one day. Reads the Bible every night at bedtime
- Neat & tidy with everything
- Has gained a few pounds and grown 2 inches since being home
- Heidi always says, "I'd take 10 of him"


Julia:
- Loves Dad, especially for "roughhousing", prefers "girly" things when with Mom
- Has made remarkable, REMARKABLE progress with her Sensory Integration issues
- Reads, writes, and speaks the English language
- Speaks Russian, Ukrainian, and Spanish
- Watches way too much TV when not supervised!
- Very, very funny at times, another comic
- Very artistic, has the best artwork and sits quietly for hours doing it
- Left-handed, flourished when allowed to write left-handed after arriving home
- Sweet, sweet girl who wants to give gifts to everyone she likes
- Pure-hearted, honest and compliant, another pleaser
- Stunningly beautiful, I'm gonna have to fight off the boys one day!
- Has gained 10 pounds or so, grown a couple of inches
- Fits into some of Nadia's clothes from back in Jan/Feb
- Promoted to sixth grade


Nadia:
- Loves Mom, but she will tell ya, "I'm a Daddy's girl!"
- Reads, writes and speaks the English language
- Reads, writes and speaks Russian, Ukrainian & Spanish
- Has finally put her love and trust into us as her parents
- Still can be bossy and want to take charge from time to time
- Hears the phrase "WHO'S THE BOSS!" 30 times a day
- Hears the phrase "Can I be in charge now!" 30 times a day
- Hears the phrase "Those on charge, raise your hand!" 40 times a day
- Rolls her eyes after those phrases 100 times a day
- Very loving and caring, learning to be a kid for the first time in her life
- Actively wants to change her attitude and compassion for others for the better
- Gained 20 pounds and 6 inches in 6 months!
- Was 2" shorter than Heidi, now 4" taller
- Grows before your eyes, catching up to Dad
- Graduated "New Comers" ESL program 6 month ahead of schedule
- Promoted to 7th grade

So you see, we have had a lot of changes in the past six months. It's a lot of fun seeing them grow and experience new things. The UOO camp helped them gain compassion for others and realize the immense opportunity that they have now living in a family. They can't wait to have more brothers and sisters and have been actively talking about it for weeks now. On our first adoption, Heidi and I didn't have very many people to talk to about it. Now, these three are seeing the huge amount of work and effort that goes into adoption and they are part of the process. They know Rimma and Zina will be their sisters and have already staked out their claim as to who will be partnered up with them in who's bedrooms. Kolya knows that we will try and bring a bother home for him to share a room with, too. Fun and excite will surely follow as we grow to eight. And who knows, we may not be done when we get there!

~ Felix ~

UOO 2009 Camp - Arrived Home Safely

I received the following e-mail from Clarke last night:

I got word early this morning that all the kiddos arrived safe at home, and couldn't stop talking about their experiences. Tatiana is convinced that Colorado is the Best State of America!Thanks everyone for such a great camp!

- Clarke Stoesz