Ukrainian Reunion

Another great thing about our upcoming trip to Ukraine is that we will be reunited with many friends that we have made over the last two years, most of them we consider our extended family. And that's good! (in my best Forest Gump voice). Most of them know that we are coming, so we will make good use of our down time and visit with them while we wait for our various adoption processes. Kherson is like a second home to us now and we both know how to get around the town fairly easily. While we will not be able to adopt Rimma and Zina this trip, we will get to see them again and we plan to celebrate Zina's birthday on the 22nd of November. Of course, we will check on their registration, too.

Heidi and I want to work with AGAPE in Kherson while we wait during the infamous "10 day holding pattern". Sasha was understaffed and in need of help when we were there last. We also would like to get over to Simferopol and see our friends there.

We've been dodging questions about the adoption and walking on egg shells when folks ask us, "Do you know who you will adopt?" The easy answer is that this is Ukraine, nothing is certain or guaranteed, and we are praying for guidance. We have petitioned the SDA for children that we have met on hosting trips here in the US. Nothing is for certain as is the case with Rima and Zina. Heidi and I want to withhold name(s) for now. We aren't trying to keep secrets or anything. This may not happen, so it's best not to get ours or anyone's hopes up on something so uncontrollable as Ukrainian adoption. In any case, we will get to see the kids that have been on the last two UOO hosting trips.

On another note, Matt, be thankful to be in Ukraine during this election season. Dude, I get at least 5 political ad phone calls a day! Most of them are recorded. I'm wondering, do they really think Americans stop and listen to these things. I Tivo most of our TV watching just to go past all of the campaign ads. A fun trick, though, is when you get a live person on the phone, tell them you are voting for the other guy. I love to hear them "tap dancing" on the other end of the line! Of course, I hear that the president of Ukraine wants to call for elections in December. So, we will get it all over again. I hope Ukrainian humor is the same when I answer that phone over there. "Hello, yes, I think (insert Ukrainian party official of opposing party here) would make a fine president, uhh, PM uhh, dictator, whatever!!"

"The Lie"

3 weeks and 4 days! But who's counting? I wish we could go today!

My favorite blog of the moment is written by a couple from Iowa currently in Ukraine adopting two teenage girls. Dr. David writes beautifully and has amazing insight on adoption issues. For a week now I've been pondering his entry about "the lie." I can't get it out of my mind. Please check it out at: http://doctordavid.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/the-lie/

Felix and I witnessed exactly what Dr. David described while we were in Ukraine in April. The orphanage directors and caretakers do the best they can to provide for the physical needs of the children - a roof over their heads, food, supervision?, clothing, etc. The children have everything they need, right? But they are missing out on so much - the love and security of a family, a warm bed, good nutrition, limitless opportunities for education and employment. We (adoptive parents) all dream that our children will be grateful for us going to crazy lengths and great expense to "save" them. The truth is, though, that our children may never be grateful because they see life through a different lens.

We also experienced "the lie" this summer when we hosted two children for the summer. At times the girls missed their friends, their teachers, Ukrainian food and Russian language. Part of me felt tremendous compassion for the girls because they had to grow up too fast and experienced tragedies in life that I will never fully understand. The other part of me wanted to ask, "How can this NOT be better than what you have in Ukraine?" Of course that's not an appropriate question to ask children...but Dr. David certainly helped me understand a little better.

Thanks, Dr. David, for helping me crack the code!

This one's for you, Matt!

Everybody, quick, go read comment 12 on our last entry and come back. Back yet? Good.

Matt, this one is for you, buddy! I'm glad to be a friend of yours and Aimee! I didn't know you were reading the "days of our lives" way over there in Ukraine. We have been hanging on you and Aimee's every word. Matt, you are cracking us up with each post. So, you are bored, huh. Heidi tells me that everyday. She is completely and utterly bored, having project managed as much of our trip as possible. Watching paint dry right now would be a highlight of our day.Uugh, the time is crawling by!

We go to Kohl's, Target, you name it and peruse the kids clothes isles like expectant parents. The only difference is that we will give "birth" to 50 lb needy kids. I keep telling myself that my opportunity to empty my wallet and roll my eyes at the latest "sale" will come. You know Matt, the ladies always point out how much they "saved" on the purchases! Kohl's Cash is intoxicating!

In closing, Matt, I have some bad news. There has been a bit of infidelity on our part. We've been seeing a new UPS guy since you have been gone! We're sorry buddy, please forgive us. Come back, Matt! Come back!

Over 10,000 served!

Don't ya just want to write something, no matter if it is important or not, when you're bored and waiting on the next big bit of adoption news to report. All we have to tell is that we bought our airline tickets yesterday.

So I'm sitting here with this blog page, just thinking up the next story when I notice that our counter will soon hit the 10,000 mark. To clarify, that only means that it has been viewed 10k times, not that we have 10k friends or that 10k of you viewed it only once and never came back.

In this period of downtime, I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has came here and read our little life's adventures. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to find out what we are up to. A special "Whoo-Hoo" to those of you that have commented on our blog from time to time! I remember when I went through military basic training and then officer candidate school how important and exciting it was to get mail...from anyone. It made my day and brightened the worst of times. The same holds true today. When we get a comment notification, Heidi and I want to be the first to open and post it, kind of like Christmas morning gift opening! Little things like that make our day! Thank you and please continue!

To the lurkers, you know who you are, Thank you for being there, too! We appreciate you! Lurking is OK, Heidi and I do it on other sites. Sometimes you just want to shop or read without anyone bothering you. I understand.

I once thought it would be fun to do a "roll call" sort of thing. You know, ask everyone who comes here to write their first name at least, along with their city and state, or country if you don't live in the US. Kinda like the names you see at a visitor book at events like weddings, hotels, etc. But that might put too much pressure on the lurkers, and I want you to keep coming back.

So until the next update on our adoption, help us keep our "counter people" in business by increasing those numbers. We will be sure to let you know if we get more news.

~Felix~

Project Manager Mode

Yes, that's right I'm in PMM...that's "project manager mode." I love planning. I love the details. The first thing I did when we got the news (about our appointment date) was start a list. And I absolutely love crossing things off the list.

At the top of the list right now is buying airplane tickets. I spoke with a Ukraine adoption travel specialist, and after the third degree from me, we decided one way tickets to Ukraine are our best option right now. It allows us a lot of flexibility in flying home...and you need a lot of flexibility when adopting from Ukraine. There are a lot of well-priced one-way tickets right now. I just need to sit Felix down to get his input (he knows a lot about airlines and geography) and get 'er done.

The past week has been full of blessings...I think He is crossing tasks off the list for us!! We needed a house sitter, and one of my best friends (Aimee) moved back home and is available to housesit! Also, many adoptive families recommend packing a CD case with DVD's to watch during your down time. Aimee and her brother have the most incredible DVD collection - and now that she's back we can borrow more DVD's than we'll ever need in Ukraine!

Meanwhile I have been stockpiling supplies for the trip: adult meds, childrens' meds, toiletries, toothbrushes for our kids, gifts to give along the way, and a few things for Zina and Rimma.

Five and one half weeks and counting!!!

Pardon me while I Happy Dance!!

WE HAVE RECEIVED OUR APPOINTMENT DATE!!

Today we received the following e-mail from Valentina...

Hi, Heidi!

I’ve got your invitation letter – your
appointment date is November 10.
We’re ready to answer all your
questions about your upcoming trip.

Best regards,
Valentina

Whoo-hoo, it's official! We are going! Time to start making plans for real. Thank you to all of our friends and readers who have given us much needed encouragement and support these past few weeks. All of our prayers have been answered. Now the great adventure begins!

Happy Birthday, Rimma!

Today is our little sweetheart's birthday. She turned 12! Last night at 11 pm (8 am her time), I sent her a text message telling her Happy Birthday and that we would be calling her at 8 pm. We called her at the appointed time and she talked more than I have heard her talk in a long time. It was pleasant just to her her Russian language as she spoke to our translator, Lydia. She had lots to say. We sent a box of presents and goodies to the girls a couple of weeks back, but they haven't received it yet. Rimma tried to get us to tell her what was inside. It was quite cute of her.

I used to have a few doubts still about her wanting to be adopted, but that was all for naught as she asked questions about her registration and eventual adoption and life in America. Her only concern was not remembering how to speak Russian once she learns English. We assured her that she should continue to speak her native language and that we have lots of Russian speaking friends that she could converse with to remember her language. Besides, mom and dad have been trying to learn with the Rosetta Stone we have. R & Z would be great teachers!

We talked with Zina, too, of course. She is fine and concerned about her registration as well. People there keep telling her that it is impossible for her to be adopted. She told us that she just ignores them and keeps praying for us. I pray that God allows this miracle to happen, not for Heidi and I, but for these children who so longingly pray to him for our home.

I jokingly told Zina that next time we call, she should find a louder place to talk. It seems that every time we talk to her, there are a million sounds and crashes going on. She laughed at my request, getting the humor that was intended. I told her that it sounded like we were in the middle of a soccer game. She said, "Dad, that is exactly what is going on, Rimma and the boys are playing football in the hallway!" I wonder who was winning!

No word on the SDA appointment for our first adoption trip. Today is the 20th working day. Supposedly, the SDA gets back to you by this deadline, but it is not set in stone. We pray that we hear something this week. I can't wait to do my "Happy Dance"!

~Felix~