Weekend Update

We spent all day today (Saturday) with Nadia & Kolya. Julia became sick and had to stay behind. We took them into Kiev and wore them out. Both kids slept in the taxi all the way home (1 hour due to traffic). We had another great day. We may be out of communication until Thursday because we are traveling back down to Kherson for a few days. We are in the 10 day wait period...no, we didn't get it waived. A week from Tuesday,we will take custody of the kids for good. We had planned long ago to do our mission work a few days during this period and Rimma will be leaving for a singing concert in Crimea next weekend. We want to spend the afternoons with her and during the day we will be visiting the SB kids that came on this year's UOO camp. So it's another chance to do God's work and leverage UOO's prescence into the Kherson orphanages. Besides, I gotta get rid of the four giant bags of goodies that all of our wonderful volunteers sent with us. I've not had to lug it around but a couple of times. But, it has been sitting in the corner of our room, reminding us of it's existance everytime I trip over it.

Love to all. Thank you for your kind comments. It is a comforting blanket to us. We will be home soon. I'll talk to you late next week if we can't get on-line in Kherson. ~ Felix ~

Love Fest!!

I'll explain the title later, it was Heidi's idea. But it is fitting of the day we had! For those on the edge of your seats, we are officially the parents of Nadia Isabella, Julia Grace & Nikolai "Kolya" Daniel! It took only 15 minutes and we were outa there! Our facilitator wrote up a few letters waiving our rights to have the event recorded. You see, we found out that they are required to record the reading of everything, dossier, adoption papers, SDA stuff, etc, and this is what takes 1-2 hours in most cases. In our case, we waived it and got down to business.

We went to the courthouse building where, on the second floor, there were these sets of doors. Behind each door was a courtroom which resembled more of an office than a court. In our "office" was a female judge wearing jeans, a prosecutor wearing Gucci boots, and two court "witnesses" . The witness closest to me (just two feet away) was surfing the internet the whole time. I believe he was looking for a pet, perhaps a dog, but I digress. Accompanying us into the hearing was Galina the orphanage director, Olga our facilitator, Anna the district social worker (who I won over two weeks earlier) and the three kids.

They asked me to stand, state my name, state my address, state my occupation and my year of birth. Heidi stood next and they asked here the same questions. Next, they asked us why wanted to adopt and we told them. We were next asked if we were made aware of the children's medical conditions (which were none, except the outlandish stuff in their files). Next, they asked if Galina and Anna approved of the adoption and they said yes. Our kids were asked to come over and stand next to the judges desk (desk, not a big podium thing like in the US...did I mention that we were in an office?) one at a time. They were asked questions like, "Did your birth parents ever come see you?", "Do you want these people to be your parents?", "Do you want to be adopted?" The kids all wanted to be with us and the judge joked with Kolya "What if the the girls go and you stay" He smiled and said he was going, too. The judge had a sweet tone of voice with him and you could tell that all the ladies in the room adored him. The prosecutor never said a word!

The judge said a few more words to us that Olga translated, but I don't remember them now. I was too caught up in the moment and I was enjoying the glowing smiles and hapiness of our children. Just like that the witness settled on the black labrador, the Gucci boot girl collected her papers and the judge said, "Congratulations, you are now the parents of these three children."

Everyone went outside and we took a few photos, sorry I haven't downloaded them from the camera yet. We loaded up into Sasha's BMW and Olga's Skola and off we went to lunch. Everyone enjoyed a great meal with salads, a maincourse (I had Chicken Kiev) and soda. Galina ordered a bottle of champagne and she toasted to our new family. I told ya she rocks!

Next, we were instructed that a celebration party was in order back at the Diestski Dom with the staff. We needed to stop and get three more bottles of champagne and three boxes of various chocolates. We did and we were show into the directors office for the bash. The entire staff (I counted 11 ladies, caretakers, cooks, nurses) with Heidi and I and our three kids were treated to a little party for the next two hours. Males in this country are expected to pour the drinks, a lesson I learned at last night's Thanksgiving party. We popped a few corks and I filled the glasses. That's where the LOVE FEST started!!

It seems that we are Diestski Dom favorites around here. Galina and her whole staff have been incredibly kind to us the whole time we have been here. They made toast after toast to us and said that they had always hoped that a family would adopt these three, but that they had honestly given up and hope that this would happen. They were teary-eyed as they explained that noone had ever shown children so much love as we have and that these three were lucky ones, we explained that were the lucky ones instead. Nadiya said that she was happy, Julia snuggled with her mom and "Little Man" Kolya sat with me. Everyone took turns thanking us for giving these three a chance. They said that they were impressed that we loved them the minute we visited them and that we didn't ask many questions and never took them to a doctor to have them examined. They were happy that we accepted them as they were. I explained that we knew we wanted them during our SDA appointment and we fell in love with them at first sight. More tears emerged as a told them that my children will be brought up to be proud of who they are, proud of their former culture, never ashamed of where they came from, and encouraged to keep all three of their present languages. I made the same promise to the staff that I did to the children when they decided on us: We will always love them, we will always protect them and we will always take care of them. Love Fest was in full swing!

By the way, it seems that the last post about the "Mama & Papa" thing was not needed. When you're bored and evaluating every circumstance you can analyze every silly detail about everything. I should have waited, the kids surely were. After court it has been "Momma this" and "Papa that". In fact, Kolya calls me Papi and Heidi, Momi...all the time. I have been told that this is endearing terms to them. It's like Daddy and Mommy instead of Mother and Father. (Perhaps my Russian speaking friends can tell me if I'm correct on the Momi & Papi explanation.) In any case, it feels great and is way cool!

~ Felix ~

Court Date!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. It is already Thursday here as I type at my ole internet cafe! Currently it is about 1pm (3am Colorado time) and I'll need to be quick because I need to leave and pick up the kids for our daily 2pm roundup.

We got our court date notification this morning! We will go to court with all three kids for a 10:30am hearing this Friday, November 28th! Then starts the 10 day waiting period. Things kinda slowed down for us the past two weeks, so we have been using this downtime by spending time each day with the kids. I mentioned earlier our daily 2-6pm routine.

We are growing closer together as a family. At first the kids would "umm"at us or clap their hands to get out attention. They aren't ready to say Momma & Papa just yet. Heidi and I quickly nipped this in the bud the first day by telling them that they could call us Heidi and Felix or Mama & Papa, but call us something. We didn't like the initial "umms" and clapping. Kolya resorted to whislteling at me the first couple of days. That boy can do the "hail a taxi" whistle, something I have never mastered. But, I thought it a little disrespectful, even if he didn't see it that way. No whislteling at Dad!

The past week, however, the kids refer to us as Mama & Papa when talking to each other about us or when refering to us with other adults. Little Julia has started calling Heidi, Mama. She still calls me Felix, as do Nadia and Kolya. Nadia slipped a couple of times and called me Papa one day. So, they are adjusting. Just a couple of weeks ago, they never dreamed that a family was coming for them. We were the first parents to see their files and the first to ever visit them. So, they had no idea of Ukrainian adoption timelines.

I agree with Heidi about their use of Mama and Papa. She reasoned that they are a little hesitant perhaps because when they do, they will have let go of the only parents they knew before. It can be hard for an orphan to make this transition. Rimma and Zina have done it and they call us Mama & Papa, but they have had time, and both have spent time in our home. A little time will help and before long I'll get tired of hearing them say, "Dad, can I have some money" or "Dad, can I borrow the car"! Until then, Heidi and I do secretly yearn for those titles to come from their voices. Those are words we have waited since our wedding to hear.

We have a family to spend Thanksgiving with and we have lots to be thankful for. We will write to you all post-court. Have a blessed holiday. Happy Thanksgiving from Ukraine.

Exceeding Capacity

OK, I know I promised you a little story about each kids personality this time, but I am in the Kiev train station again at the internet cafe. We are here to see Zina as she and several orphans come up to practice the Russian shoemaker play. They will leave at 3 am this Friday and perform this play at several Florida, Georgia, North Carolina and New York locations. We will take the train into Kiev each morning then jump on the Metro to the CBN offices for the next two or three days to see her. At around 1pm or so, we will repeat the process to get back in time to pick up the three kids.

My title has to do with the phenomenon of Ukrainian travel. I have ridden the Metro and at rush hour, you can be very close with people you have never met. But nothing compares to this morning's train ride. WOW! Now I know how sardines feel! We were quite literally squeezed into the train by the mob of people getting in the door. I spooned with several babuskas and honery men all the while not knowing what to do with my hands! If I left them by my side, they were definately stuffed next to someones "nether regions". If I raised them, I groped some poor babuskas "blouse area" in the process of getting them out of the previously mentioned "cracks". I told Heidi what was going on during this time (she was somewhere under my arm pit) and we both laughed histerically as we went bumpty-bump down the tracks. Great time!

The same kinda thing has happened to us on the Metro if and when we went during rush hour. One has to let go of personal space in this country. You are expected to participate in this version of personal closeness if you want to traverse the city with 6 million of your closest friends. Don't think that the little Marshukas (small city buses that take people from town to town, not to be confused with city buses) are any different either. I counted 45 people getting into our 35 seat marshuka from Kherson to Odessa last April.

It should be noted though, that I actively participate in the exceeding of capacity with our taxi driver. Who wants to pay double for the same ride? I have learned from the driver that the car is a 1965 Russian auto and that the right side brakes do not work. This car and I were "born" the same year! When the driver stops, the car veers left and he steers right. We repeat this overloading everyday with three adults and three kids in a car built for only four people. Do you guys remember the Datsun B210 (I had one)? This car is about that size. I wonder everyday if we will stop at the next intersection or if the left side brakes give out. Luckly, this driver is a kindly old man who I know can use the grivna we are paying. He drives slow and the price is right.

It only costs about $5 per trip for the taxi, about .40 cents for the metro, and .50 cents for the train to Kiev. For those prices, I'll gladly spoon with my buddy Igor, Ivan, Sasha.....

~ Felix ~

Roge' Cinco

Someone used the phrase "Roge' Cinco" on a comment the other day and I think it fits us well. We had a great weekend with the kids on Saturday. We kept them from 9am until 6pm. Saturday, we bought some clothes for them. Sunday we went to Kiev in the morning for service at the international church, so we didn't get back until 2-ish. Karen came back with us to Boiarka and took this picture, out first family picture. This is not the only shot taken, but it is the only one where all five of us are looking at the camera, smiling, or not picking our nose (OK, i'll try not to do that in the future). BTW...what is it with Ukrainian kids and the peace sign/rabbit ears pose? I couldn't stop Rimma and Zina, I couldn't stop Tanya and Luba, and now this bunch. Everytime we had a good shot, someone would throw it up. Oh well, here's your obligatory rabbit ears photo.

We are in the pre-court phase of our adoption. We had hoped for this to go quickly too, but we are on pace for an average SDA apointment to court date timeline. I call it the pre-court 10 day wait (you all know there is a mandatory 10 post-court wait). If all goes well, we should go to court this Friday. Our judge is waiting until the SDA sends all of their paperwork to her and the SDA said that they will be done on Wednesday. Olga hopes that the judge will stick to her earlier prediction of "court on Friday".

We spend everyday with the kids and they are wonderful. We have English lessons everynight and then we eat dinner together. The kids are cute as the have come to expect us to do certain things at certain times. They know to hold hands and bow heads during dinner prayer and they know to wash hands everytime the come in from the outside (a Kari lesson we learned) and before and after dinner. There are so many of these Roge-isms that they are picking up...and that's great! Part-time parenting is breaking the ground for all of us as we all learn what it will be like in the full-time future.

I don't have much time today, so I need to be getting back to our apartment to catch our routine 2pm taxi to the Detski Dom to pick up the kids. It will be another "down week" until court so in the next post or two, I'll tell you a little about each child's personality, likes and dislikes. See you then!

~ Felix ~

A Date with a Princess

So I will dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms

‘Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don’t want to miss even one song

‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she’ll be gone …

- Steven Curtis Chapman

This past Saturday, I had a date with a princess, two in fact. Heidi and I spent Friday with our kids and we told them that we would return on Sunday to see them. We explained that we were going to see two girls that lived in Kherson that we wanted to add to our family one day, girls that would be their sisters once a few big hurdles were removed. So, we said goodbye around 6 pm and took a cab to the Kiev train station for the overnight passage to Kherson.


While at the station we ran into Vika, who is also in Rimma and Zina’s groupa. We knew that we would see her because we had talked to Karen Springs and she explained that by coincidence, Vika and a chaperone would be there. Vika had traveled to the US embassy for a Visa appointment. She, along with Zina and a few other orphans, will travel to the US for a few weeks to do the Russian Shoemaker play. This was something that we had already known about as well. Our window of opportunity to see Zina would be but a few short days, and it was her birthday on Saturday. Our little angel turned 13, only three more years before all will be lost on her chance to be with us.


We had hoped to meet up with Vika and her chaperone Saturday morning in the Kherson train station, but we somehow the issue got lost in translation. So, at nine-ish in the morning, we stood at the station hoping to go with them. After awhile, we decided to get a taxi to the internat, but we didn’t have the address in Russian. By memory, Heidi transcribed the address into Russian and we explained to the driver that we wanted to go to the internat on Pugachova St. He understood us and off we went. I immediately recognized the route and helped direct us straight there. As we pulled up I saw two girls hanging out by the front gate, watching every car pass by. When I exited, Zina saw me immediately and began running at top speed into her Daddy’s arms. Vika was close behind. Zina knew we were coming, had received permission to go “out on the town” with us, and was waiting for her family. Not a minute later, Rimma came running from the the corner of the building, straight into Heidi’s arms. A family had been reunited.


The girls took us up to their rooms to introduce us to their English teacher, Katya, who would be their chaperone for our trip. She is a very nice young blond Ukrainian woman about in her mid-twenties and she is the girl’s favorite teacher. Upon meeting us she said that we would have a special meeting at four o’clock at the orphanage. We would need to be back in time for it. There, we would be presented with some good news.We didn’t have time to waste hanging around the internat, we had girlie-shopping to do. We had preplanned a little shopping excursion, so it came as no surprise that Dad’s wallet would get a workout. We also knew that we would have a pizza party for Zina at a restaurant of her choosing, so you see, we had to get going, I was told!

The first order of business was a dress for Rimma’s singing concert in Crimea that was coming up. “I have to have a dress, Papa!” We stopped at a bridal dress hop and I immediately knew this was gonna cost me! They brought out a few formal dresses for my sweetie to try on and I enjoyed watching four Ukrainian store assistants dote and cater to an orphan, as if she were the president of the country. Dress number two captured the attention and hearts of everyone and there was no sense even trying on the rest. For a mere $75 USD, standing before me was my first glimpse of a real-life Cinderella. Plucked from her bane existence as an orphan and shining like the diamond that she is, I teared up.


I composed myself, paid, and we left with the dress. Next up, jeans for Vika that the Carman’s had sent money to buy. Vika was on a mission, she knew where and what kind of jeans she wanted and with the leftover money we were able to buy her a belt, too. Her ensemble completed, we moved on to the next task.

We took a break from the shopping to have the pizza party for Zina. She chose a very nice Italian restaurant and we ordered four pizzas with salads. Our friend and interpreter from our April trip, Sergey, joined us for lunch, too. We had a pleasant lunch with the three girls, Katya, and Sergey. Rimma discovered our video camera and started shooting footage. The camera is new, I don’t know a thing about it yet, but Rimma worked it like a pro. These kids are so smart!During dinner I leaned over and asked Zina if Ukrainian birthdays were like American birthdays…where there would be a cake and she would blow out candles. She told me, yes. I asked her if anyone had made the cake, yet. She said no. I asked her if a cake could be purchased from a local store. She smiled and knew where I was headed with my questioning. I told her, “Let’s go find that cake!”


Four o’clock was approaching and we needed to get back to the orphanage for our important meeting. We had our cake and candles in hand when I asked Zina if there were anything in the market she needed. She “hemmed and hawed”, being the typical “I don’t need anything” Zina that she is when Sergey translated, “I need a school bag, a cool one that hangs like a purse”. A new blouse and a school bag later, we made our way to the internat. My wallet was smoking, but still intact. Overall, it was less than a $200 day. Not bad considering I had been shopping with five females!

Next, we had our important meeting at the orphanage. Right on time at four, the girls dismissed themselves and we started our talks. We learned some great news! Rimma has finally been registered and has in fact turned down two Ukrainian families that came to adopt her because she wanted to wait for her Mama and Papa in Colorado! We did not tell her to turn down opportunities, rather, we prayed and decided to leave it up to the girls whether they wanted to go to a home or wait for us. This shows Rimma’s commitment to us as her family and in fact, she calls us that all the time. You may remember that she had doubts after she returned to Ukraine after she stayed with us. If she will wait, we will return for her.


That was the good news; unfortunately, Zina’s case continues to wait on a decision from the courts to decide if she should be put on the adoption registry. We found out in the meeting that the courts have had three years to make a decision about her status, but still they have not made a decision. We have the support, no doubt, of the orphanage to have both girls and they want us to have them. This however, doesn’t help the fact that Zina continues to wait for an unexplainable bureaucratic process that has her locked out of adoption. This makes no sense! We again received promises that they will do all that is possible to get her through the courts. I worry that we will never have the opportunity to adopt her. I explained to them that the US will not allow us to adopt her after she turns 16. This perked some attention as this was not common knowledge to them. Heidi cried as I pled for them to take charge and push the issue. “Time is running out for Zina and it is breaking her and our hearts”, I told them. I told them that I was tired of disappointing my daughter, they needed to look her in the eye and see the hurt. They agreed to sit down with Zina and discuss her situation with her.

After the meeting concluded we left for Zina’s room to continue her birthday party. The girls were waiting for us and we shared the news with them. This is when Rimma told us that she had turned down two families. Heidi had asked me if she could speak to the girls alone, one at a time with Sergey. I knew this was the “big elephant in the room” talk that they would have to hear from us one day, and that day had arrived. All along we have told the girls that we would be adopting more children and they have been ok with that, even encouraging. We don’t keep secrets from each other in this family, but it is hard to get explain things to someone who is thousands of miles away and who doesn’t completely understand your language. We knew we would need to look them in the eye and tell them in person that they would not be the first children to be adopted and that we were in fact in the country to take home their new brother and sisters.

Heidi said that they both accepted this fact and she told them that we would be bringing them home now if it were up to us. They asked a few questions about the other kids and things seemed to go well. Heidi also explained that Rimma was registered and Zina was not. Zina said that if we got the opportunity to adopt Rimma, we should come and take Rimma home first because it would be good for her to be in our family and start learning English. Zina said she knew that we would come back for her, and she had Vika and other friends to keep her company. I almost lost it when I heard this. Heidi told Zina that it would break her heart to bring Rimma home and leave Zina behind. It would be hard for all of us to make that decision, one I’m not sure I could make, if it comes down to that. Please pray for Zina’s registration and keep it at the top of your prayer list. Rimma was registered due to our prayers, and Zina needs our help now.



Time came to light the candles and sing happy birthday. The lights were dimmed, the candles were lit, and right then I saw it again. In the soft hue of the candlelight I saw my second Cinderella with a smile on her face as her friends and family paid homage to her day. She looked ecstatically happy and I wondered if this was her first ever birthday party of this magnitude. I said a little prayer as she blew out her 13 candles and I thanked God that I got to witness this special day. I asked her if she made a wish and she said yes, of course! I was smart enough not to ask and she knew wishes kept secret come true.

What do you think she wished for?

Back in Cyberspace!

Whoo-hoo, we're back on the internet. After searching for days here in Boiarka (yes, I misspelled it earlier with a Y in it) we found an internet cafe! Our gracious Boiarka guardian angels, Becky and Nadya (not our Nadya), let us use their internet at home to post once or twice. Now we can walk just 15 minutes down the road to get on-line at the internet cafe. We will post daily if we have down time. When adoption work happens, we will of course be working that day and we will get back to ya.

We should find out soon when our court date will be. This whole week has been a blessing. We have a fabulous place to stay, American missionaries to talk to, a cooperative director, and 500 channels of TV! Every single middle eastern, African, Slavic, or Latin country is represented...several stations each! And yes, we are getting some good English stations too! The school we where we are staying has class during the day. Today, Heidi and I were guest speakers during a "middle school" English class. The children were adorable as they used their English skills on us, asking questions and answering our questions. Two nights ago, we were guest speakers during two different adult English classes. One was advanced and the other group was intermediate level. So, we are having fun, passing the time, enjoying good company and good food. We may move here! Just kidding!

Here's our present schedule. Most mornings, Heidi wakes up and starts breakfast for us while I snooze another hour or so. We then run errands or walk around the town looking for things. We have instituted the "Twyla Barrett" method of shopping when we don't have Becky. We open a door, peak in, and if it has what we need, we stay! Kudos to you, Twyla, we learned from the best! We have been to the bank, the open air market(s), the grocery stores. We usualy return around noon and we hang out until the kids get home from school, which is around 2:30-ish. Becky has been gracious, serving as taxi driver in her nifty Daewoo, for the past few days. But, we need to wean ourselves from doing that. We will start using the taxi today, but it has been nice finding out about the kids as Becky translates and has a way with kids...they open up to her and us and we have learned a lot. We have to pick up the kids from the orphanage at 3pm everyday. It's kinda like being at home with kids, except we give 'em back each night! We have the kids everyday from 3-6 pm at which time we reverse the process and drop them off. During family time we always have dinner together and then we do English work together and have a little play time. Heidi was exhausted last night so we watched "The Incredibles" in English with them and we got halfway through it before we headed back to the orphanage. Hey, American movies are English lessons right? All work and no play... A few minutes to 6pm we load up and drop off the kids and it is hugs and kisses all around. We have complete trust from the director and she agrees that we need this time to bond as a family. The kids go upstairs to do their homework and get ready for bed, we leave and usually head home where I watch a movie (we brought 20 or so). Heidi usually falls asleep during it which is why she always wakes up before me...or maybe it's because I'm being lazy! We get up the next day and repeat the process. Each day we get an update from Olga, our translator/facilitator, on where we are with the adoption. So far, so good!

For those of you have asked, the kids go to school outside of the orphanage during the day and return home to the orphanage every afternoon around 2:30. So it is an Dietski Dom (children's home), not an Internat (boarding school) like Rimma and Zina's school.

Monday, we had to come up with the names of the children for the court documents. They will be:

Nadia Isabella Roge'
Julia Grace Roge' (Yoo-lia sound at home, Julia in school)
Nikolai Daniel Roge' (Nickname Kolya at home, eventual shortening to Cole perhaps)

We don't know what the director will allow for the weekends yet, but I assume that it will be more of the same, just that we will have all day instead of three hours. We will "Metro" it into Kiev for church with Karen on Sundays before kid pick-up.

I had a post ready for this past weekend with Rimma and Zina ready to go. I used our laptop to compose it and put I put it on a thumb drive to upload. I was eager to tell you about it and since we hadn't found internet yet, I wrote it on MS Word. Well, for some reason, it won't open here. They have Word and these are new computers, but for some reason, I can't figure it out yet because the problem pop-up window is in Russian...hmmmnn. I knew that I should have saved it as a text file! I'll work it out and post it up for you along with a picture of them. Be warned though, grab you tissue! I can get mushy when talking about my girls!

All for now, we'll let ya know something as soon as we do. It is going well, though, so don't worry about us. I had hoped to drop a few lbs here but there is abundant good food on every corner. Pass the Chicken Kiev, bashalsta!

~ Felix ~