Ukrainian Saturday night

Yeah, the 10 day wait is almost over. We can get to work again on Tuesday! Galina, though, told us to take the children Monday after school! That's good news because we can't wait to get Julia out of her present location.

I'm very culturally sensitive and I uphold and honor the traditions of the country and culture of which I'm a guest. But I totally disagree with Ukraine's take on the idea that somehow, my daughter is getting better care at this place than at her Dietsky Dom. I was fuming after Thursday night's visit when my Julia had deep dark circles under her eyes, hadn't showered or changed clothes in over a week, and cried in her mother's arms after only a five minute visit. I love the people of Ukraine, but I'm ready to have my kids with us, both here and in the US.

When Julia was coming home with us, we managed to erase the circles under her eyes with a little (well, lots) of food and love. Julia hates the food at the sanitorium and would always be the last one at the table. I accussed her of having a tape worm. Folks, I don't know where she was putting all of it! Thirty minutes after dinner and everyone else had finished, she would be done. We would pull up her shirt and she would show us her tummy, rounded by the nice meal Mom had given her. We always pack snacks for all of them to take back with them, making sure to give Julia a bit extra to make it through to her next family dinner.

For the past week, we still make the trip to the sanitorium to see her. We just pay the driver a little extra for the wait. They placed her in isolation because she was coughing with her cold. They were afraid that if she did have TB (she doesn't) that a cough would spread it. Now she can't come home and noone was there on Friday to release her from this wing. She is no longer sick from the cold but unable to come home. We try and get in 15 minutes with her in the hallway and usually we accomplish our goal. It just depends on who is working. Galina tried to get in touch of the doctor to release her and she said that on Monday, she will make him release her completely.

In the meantime, we pack a big bag of goodies, juice, some meal worthy snacks and her activity books. Julia is all smiles now, a quite different demeanor from Thursday night's visit. On Friday night, Heidi brought her a complete change of clothes and she loved her new jeans. We held up a coat in a corner of the hallway as she stripped and changed clothes. We couldn't do anything about the shower, though. When we met Julia for the first time, the staff told us she was like a "gentile kitten". We didn't know what that meant, but we have found out. She is quite the cuddle-muffin. She likes to climb up into Heidi's lap and to be held like a baby. She needs lots of love and attention and we have determined that Julia will be our child most in need. She craves Heidi's love and affection, being quite the Momma's girl. She loves me too and will hug 'till it hurts. But Heidi is the go-to girl for her.

Heidi and I have bought each child three changes of clothes. They wear these for a couple of days until we shower them and wash their clothes (we mastered the washing machine in our apartment weeks ago). They have quit wearing their orphanage clothes for a couple of weeks now. Galina knows this and of course she is going to allow us to keep the clothes that we have bought them. We will hand over the orphanage clothes probably on Monday. It is great to have a director who is so cooperative when it comes to adoption. The ability to have them each night, to wash their clothes, to let them have their new clothes, to have meals with them, all this is not taken for granted. I know that there have been adoptive parents out there that haven't been granted these things, so I am grateful.

Our time together has eased us into the bonding process and each day the kids show us new personalities and have given over their complete trust. Things may change when they are out of their culture and comfort zone when we get home. But they will know that they can trust in us to take care of them. All of the kids routinely speak Spanish with us. They are quite good! I want them to retain it along with their Russian.

Nadia is still bossy with her sibs, but she lets me take charge when I need to discipline Kolya. Last night she intervened when I took a MP3 player from Kolya after I warned him twice not to play with it during dinner (I don't know where he got it from, probably his turn with community property). I sternly told her that I was in charge and would handle it and she backed off. There have been numerous occasions like this and I'm slowly letting it be known that I am the parent now. Of course, she knows how to bat those eyes and I melt! She is wonderful though! She regularly takes my arm when we are walking and today she was snuggly during a movie. I was a bit shocked though when she came out of the shower today with just a towel wrapped around her. Kolya is doing the same thing, too. I guess they are all comfortable with their new family! I didn't make a scene or a big deal about it and neither did they. I guess we have moved forward!

Kolya has this pouty, crying side to him. Normally, he is a happy-go-lucky boy...and he is all boy, if ya know what I mean. Today, Nadia said something to him that sent him over the edge. He went off by himself and started crying. It is impossible to get him to do anything or listen to you when he does this. I'm not the kind of guy who plays along or allows things like this so we just leave him alone and choose to ignore the behavior, but not the boy. I'm sure he's testing us all and I'm all too eager to start establishing those boundaries! He has done this several times, but he always comes around. One time in a croud, I had to get tough with him...bring it on little man! Otherwise, he is a sweet boy and has the cutest laugh and giggle. He acts like he doesn't like it, but he gets a kick out of Heidi's belly-buster routine. We believe that he is going to have the easiest time with learning English, he's a parrot and perfectly pronounces most every word you say to him. We played soccer together today (it was nice and warm out again) and he is very skilled. Look out American kids! When Koya is around his friends, it's not cool to hug and kiss on Mom & Dad, he does that at home. He is also shy in crouds, so it will be interesting to see how he reacts when we arrive at DIA and there is a welcome commitee. All for now, see ya soon.


Short note: I've complicated my picture uploading now, I've gone and lost my thumb drive. No big loss, it had only copied pictures on it. I saw some for sale at the open air market here. I'll try and replace it soon. I don't like to post without pictures.

~ Felix ~

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy!

Holy Mackerel! There is a sun up there! Now that I've got that John Denver tune stuck in your head, i'll explain. Last week, and the three weeks before that (see, you lose track of time when you're away from a calendar) it has been overcast, cold, clamy and downright depressing. It snowed a couple of weeks back and that just messed things up fine! The walking was treacherous for a week until the ice thawed. We froze our tushes off last weekend waiting for the train to Kiev and shopping for clothes. We should have waited until this weekend! I was happy all day! There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun was beaming in the Ukrainian sky. It was very warm today (i'm guessing 50's) and it should stick around for the weekend. It gets dark here at 4pm (no kidding!) so before I came into the ole trusty internet cafe, I caught a glimpse of the moon for the first time in over a month. It's the little things that you miss the most!

The kids are fine and we are gaining ground on taking the reins from Nadia. She is starting to act more like the 12 year old that she is and relaxing her "little mother" role she has had to take on for the past few years. It's good to see her be a kid again. Our missionary friends Becky and Nadia commented today on the remarkable change in them that they have seen now vs. our first week with them. Becky taught our Nadia that to get her way with Popi, she needs only to bat her eyes and say, "Please Daddy". The occasional pout we have seen from her has no effect on me and she is slowly learning this. So we went out to dinner tonight with our kids, sans Julia, with Becky and Nadia and on a couple of occasions, our Nadia tried out her new "please daddy" eye batting routine on me. Ugghhh, I caved in seconds! I gotta do better next time...Thanks, Becky!

We've kept it to ourselves, for no real reason, that Julia has been in the sanitorium since we met her. When we go pick up Nadia and Kolya, we travel down the road to the sanatorium to pick up Julia. Apparently, she tested positive weeks ago for TB exposure. It's the same thing that Rimma endured. She doesn't have TB, it's just that she has been exposed to the TB bacterium. We get her medical release on Monday and she will be with us permanently, as will the other two. It's a crazy situation anyway. She comes home with us every night just like the other two and we take her back each night. However, this week we have not had her with us because she caught a cold and they won't let her go home with us. She is over her cold, is no risk to anyone in regards to TB, but we can't find the doctor to give her a medical release to resume our home visits each evening...and he is gone for the weekend. It will be alright Monday anyway as the kids will be past the 10 day wait period and will be staying with us permanently, including Julia. Galina, the director, offered to keep the kids in school until we leave She also said that on days where we would be running around doing paperwork without them, the kids could wait for us at the orphanage until we got home to pick them up. I've said it before and i'll say it again...Galina rocks!

I'm still unable to upload photos in mass quantity to Picasa, so I'm sorry about that. I can only do four at a time and it takes several minutes to do that. If I get it figured out before we leave, I'll post them. I'll be sure to do it when we get home.

Prayer request
I've kept something else from most of you, but I need to ask you now for a prayer request. My baby sister's husband, Shawn, suffered a massive heart attack two weeks ago last Tuesday. He was revived after two resustitations and presently is comatose. He has never regained consciousness and doctors have determined that he will never will. He is 36, seemed to be in top physical shape, and this is a shock to all of us. He will leave behind my sister, also 36 and two boys ages 10 & 8. He was a believer and had been saved, so glory to God for that. I've been struggling with the decision to go home but my family has told me to continue to work to bring our kids home. Heidi needs my help with the three and there is nothing I could do, my sister has many people around her right now. I don't know what to ask you guys to pray for, but please pray for them, us, everything. Thank you.

Felix

Back in B-town!

We arrived back in Boyarka this morning, safe and sound. The overnight train back was the usual hot and stuffy ride that it always is. Note to future overnight train riders, always try to get the bottom two bunks. Those always go first because they are the coolest and the closest to the floor. We have a traveling clock and thermometer. The bottom bunk was recorded at 77 degrees while the top bunk hovered around 82. Hot air rises! I don't know about you, but I can't sleep when it is hot and there is noway to open the windows. You are considered strange if you leave your door open all night and they say that this is not safe anyway (we have never had problems with theft). Opening the door doesn't aleviate the heat anyway. Last April we opened the hallway window and caught the wrath of the attendant. Up went the window. There is a big phobia here about drafts. Oh, and don't sit on the concrete either. Bad juju! Anyway, I found a tiny air leak in the window seal and stuck my face in it all night. It would cease to exist when we stopped (you stop about 40 times to pick up or drop off passengers). That's when I would be jarred awake or warmed up so that my "turkey button" popped (you know what I mean). Woe is me! Sorry, I needed to whine a little. I'm feeling that Matt Garrett state of "anxiousness"!

OK, you probably want to know about the trip to Kherson. We picked right up where we left off with our friends in Kherson. We stayed at the infamous, House of Bible. It is just four blocks from R & Z's internat. We visited with Rimma in the evenings after school and we spent time with our young Christian people during the day. We got up early on Wednesday to go to Stari Zburivka (SB), compliments of the AGAPE van and our driver, Sasha. We picked up Luba, Natasha's daughter on the way. She along with Sergey would be our translator. This also gave us a chance to be with Luba again (she stayed in our home with the camp kids this year) and for her to see her mom for the first time in over two months. Luba attends a private school in Kherson and lives with her grandmother.

Natasha called us on the way there to ask where we were. For those of you who don't remember who she is, Natasha is the assistant director of the SB orphanage and UOO's direct contact for SB. She helps us get the kids to Colorado each year. Back to topic; we arrived at SB and Natasha immediately came out to greet us. We were taken into her office for refreshments and a quick explanation of what we would be doing that day. In no time, the kids from the 2007 & 2008 camps started appearing! It was all hugs and kisses!

We were asked to participate in some outdoor games with the kids in a nearby forest, so off we went. The orphanage's physical fitness teacher conducted a few games with us and the kids had a good time away from class for awhile. Next, we went inside to hand out the many gifts and letters to all of the UOO camp attendees. The kids loved the dart guns from Karly (big hit) and Ilona was treated to a suitcase full of goodies from her pen-pal "Grandma Judy". Ilona, being the generous girl that she is, shared most of her stash with the other girls. Tatum Volf had made personalized cards for each kid and inside each was a letter written by the Volf's. The gifts where appreciated and made all the kids very happy. The letters caught the attention of everyone and where a very treasured prize! Pen-paling makes a world of difference to an orphan, please get involved! We were secretly holding back the names of the kids until they asked for their letter. Near the end, Volva exclaimed that he hadn't received a card. Heidi told him that he didn't ask for one. When he did, his eyes lit up! All the kids read their letters and passed them around to show. Of course, they kept their eyes on their individual coveted letter!

Vanya wasn't present because he was at the sanitorium. His uncle has TB and the orphanage took the precaution of sending him there. As you know Svetlana was adopted by an Ukrainian family. Denis and Sergey are living with a foster family. Ina is living at a technical school, she has aged out. Katya and Ruslan were moved to a different orphanage so that they would be closer to visiting relatives.

Little Natasha and Ilona were much more outgoing than we expected. They picked right up where they were with us at the end of the camp. They are usually shy and reserved. Both girls smiled and actively engaged me and Heidi. Little Natasha even hugged me and sat in my lap a few times with her arm around me, something she would never do at the start of Camp 08. Rhya and Katya where a little more cautious with their feelings but warmed up later and were happy for the love and attention.

Zhenya, Vitalic, Sasha, Vasya, Vova and Igor were especially happy to see us. I was mobbed by the little guys and I was very happy to be shown so much love and affection by these boys. Of course we got "THE QUESTION" from a couple of the little guys. It broke my heart to tell them no. It didn't help that Natasha, in front of the boys, told us that a Ukrainian family wants to foster them and she is coaching the boys to say no to them. She said that they should go to a nice Colorado family instead. Ugghh, she's killin' me! Grab you hankies! When we left these boys brought me a stuffed animal gift. I asked him to keep it, but with tears in his eyes, he told me to take it as a reminder of him. My pet Girraffe is safely tucked into the side of my backpack.

As we were leaving, we finnally got to meet Natasha's husband and we got the hard sell again from her father-in-law, Nickolai the director, about the need for a van. In a comical fashion he said he fell in love with AGAPE's van and expressed his tremendous need for such transportation. He went on and on about it and after awhile, I asked Sasha for the keys and handed them to him. This brought a roaring round of laughter from the adult crowd and I made like we we walking back to Kherson. He said that he wouldn't make us walk, he would give us a ride in his new van! This would be a tremendous gift for those of you out there looking to do something for the orphans of SB.

On the train back to Kiev last night, during our bouts of conscious heat exhaustion, Heidi cried for the two boys who want us. I pondered how to get my friends (hint, hint, wink, wink) to donate materials, time and talent to finish my basement for what could be the Roge' Seven (Nadia, Julia, Kolya, Zina, Rimma, plus two?) Remember, if you build it, they will come!

Stay tuned for pictures from the camp. We are having technical difficulties uploading them.

Weekend Update

We spent all day today (Saturday) with Nadia & Kolya. Julia became sick and had to stay behind. We took them into Kiev and wore them out. Both kids slept in the taxi all the way home (1 hour due to traffic). We had another great day. We may be out of communication until Thursday because we are traveling back down to Kherson for a few days. We are in the 10 day wait period...no, we didn't get it waived. A week from Tuesday,we will take custody of the kids for good. We had planned long ago to do our mission work a few days during this period and Rimma will be leaving for a singing concert in Crimea next weekend. We want to spend the afternoons with her and during the day we will be visiting the SB kids that came on this year's UOO camp. So it's another chance to do God's work and leverage UOO's prescence into the Kherson orphanages. Besides, I gotta get rid of the four giant bags of goodies that all of our wonderful volunteers sent with us. I've not had to lug it around but a couple of times. But, it has been sitting in the corner of our room, reminding us of it's existance everytime I trip over it.

Love to all. Thank you for your kind comments. It is a comforting blanket to us. We will be home soon. I'll talk to you late next week if we can't get on-line in Kherson. ~ Felix ~

Love Fest!!

I'll explain the title later, it was Heidi's idea. But it is fitting of the day we had! For those on the edge of your seats, we are officially the parents of Nadia Isabella, Julia Grace & Nikolai "Kolya" Daniel! It took only 15 minutes and we were outa there! Our facilitator wrote up a few letters waiving our rights to have the event recorded. You see, we found out that they are required to record the reading of everything, dossier, adoption papers, SDA stuff, etc, and this is what takes 1-2 hours in most cases. In our case, we waived it and got down to business.

We went to the courthouse building where, on the second floor, there were these sets of doors. Behind each door was a courtroom which resembled more of an office than a court. In our "office" was a female judge wearing jeans, a prosecutor wearing Gucci boots, and two court "witnesses" . The witness closest to me (just two feet away) was surfing the internet the whole time. I believe he was looking for a pet, perhaps a dog, but I digress. Accompanying us into the hearing was Galina the orphanage director, Olga our facilitator, Anna the district social worker (who I won over two weeks earlier) and the three kids.

They asked me to stand, state my name, state my address, state my occupation and my year of birth. Heidi stood next and they asked here the same questions. Next, they asked us why wanted to adopt and we told them. We were next asked if we were made aware of the children's medical conditions (which were none, except the outlandish stuff in their files). Next, they asked if Galina and Anna approved of the adoption and they said yes. Our kids were asked to come over and stand next to the judges desk (desk, not a big podium thing like in the US...did I mention that we were in an office?) one at a time. They were asked questions like, "Did your birth parents ever come see you?", "Do you want these people to be your parents?", "Do you want to be adopted?" The kids all wanted to be with us and the judge joked with Kolya "What if the the girls go and you stay" He smiled and said he was going, too. The judge had a sweet tone of voice with him and you could tell that all the ladies in the room adored him. The prosecutor never said a word!

The judge said a few more words to us that Olga translated, but I don't remember them now. I was too caught up in the moment and I was enjoying the glowing smiles and hapiness of our children. Just like that the witness settled on the black labrador, the Gucci boot girl collected her papers and the judge said, "Congratulations, you are now the parents of these three children."

Everyone went outside and we took a few photos, sorry I haven't downloaded them from the camera yet. We loaded up into Sasha's BMW and Olga's Skola and off we went to lunch. Everyone enjoyed a great meal with salads, a maincourse (I had Chicken Kiev) and soda. Galina ordered a bottle of champagne and she toasted to our new family. I told ya she rocks!

Next, we were instructed that a celebration party was in order back at the Diestski Dom with the staff. We needed to stop and get three more bottles of champagne and three boxes of various chocolates. We did and we were show into the directors office for the bash. The entire staff (I counted 11 ladies, caretakers, cooks, nurses) with Heidi and I and our three kids were treated to a little party for the next two hours. Males in this country are expected to pour the drinks, a lesson I learned at last night's Thanksgiving party. We popped a few corks and I filled the glasses. That's where the LOVE FEST started!!

It seems that we are Diestski Dom favorites around here. Galina and her whole staff have been incredibly kind to us the whole time we have been here. They made toast after toast to us and said that they had always hoped that a family would adopt these three, but that they had honestly given up and hope that this would happen. They were teary-eyed as they explained that noone had ever shown children so much love as we have and that these three were lucky ones, we explained that were the lucky ones instead. Nadiya said that she was happy, Julia snuggled with her mom and "Little Man" Kolya sat with me. Everyone took turns thanking us for giving these three a chance. They said that they were impressed that we loved them the minute we visited them and that we didn't ask many questions and never took them to a doctor to have them examined. They were happy that we accepted them as they were. I explained that we knew we wanted them during our SDA appointment and we fell in love with them at first sight. More tears emerged as a told them that my children will be brought up to be proud of who they are, proud of their former culture, never ashamed of where they came from, and encouraged to keep all three of their present languages. I made the same promise to the staff that I did to the children when they decided on us: We will always love them, we will always protect them and we will always take care of them. Love Fest was in full swing!

By the way, it seems that the last post about the "Mama & Papa" thing was not needed. When you're bored and evaluating every circumstance you can analyze every silly detail about everything. I should have waited, the kids surely were. After court it has been "Momma this" and "Papa that". In fact, Kolya calls me Papi and Heidi, Momi...all the time. I have been told that this is endearing terms to them. It's like Daddy and Mommy instead of Mother and Father. (Perhaps my Russian speaking friends can tell me if I'm correct on the Momi & Papi explanation.) In any case, it feels great and is way cool!

~ Felix ~

Court Date!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. It is already Thursday here as I type at my ole internet cafe! Currently it is about 1pm (3am Colorado time) and I'll need to be quick because I need to leave and pick up the kids for our daily 2pm roundup.

We got our court date notification this morning! We will go to court with all three kids for a 10:30am hearing this Friday, November 28th! Then starts the 10 day waiting period. Things kinda slowed down for us the past two weeks, so we have been using this downtime by spending time each day with the kids. I mentioned earlier our daily 2-6pm routine.

We are growing closer together as a family. At first the kids would "umm"at us or clap their hands to get out attention. They aren't ready to say Momma & Papa just yet. Heidi and I quickly nipped this in the bud the first day by telling them that they could call us Heidi and Felix or Mama & Papa, but call us something. We didn't like the initial "umms" and clapping. Kolya resorted to whislteling at me the first couple of days. That boy can do the "hail a taxi" whistle, something I have never mastered. But, I thought it a little disrespectful, even if he didn't see it that way. No whislteling at Dad!

The past week, however, the kids refer to us as Mama & Papa when talking to each other about us or when refering to us with other adults. Little Julia has started calling Heidi, Mama. She still calls me Felix, as do Nadia and Kolya. Nadia slipped a couple of times and called me Papa one day. So, they are adjusting. Just a couple of weeks ago, they never dreamed that a family was coming for them. We were the first parents to see their files and the first to ever visit them. So, they had no idea of Ukrainian adoption timelines.

I agree with Heidi about their use of Mama and Papa. She reasoned that they are a little hesitant perhaps because when they do, they will have let go of the only parents they knew before. It can be hard for an orphan to make this transition. Rimma and Zina have done it and they call us Mama & Papa, but they have had time, and both have spent time in our home. A little time will help and before long I'll get tired of hearing them say, "Dad, can I have some money" or "Dad, can I borrow the car"! Until then, Heidi and I do secretly yearn for those titles to come from their voices. Those are words we have waited since our wedding to hear.

We have a family to spend Thanksgiving with and we have lots to be thankful for. We will write to you all post-court. Have a blessed holiday. Happy Thanksgiving from Ukraine.

Exceeding Capacity

OK, I know I promised you a little story about each kids personality this time, but I am in the Kiev train station again at the internet cafe. We are here to see Zina as she and several orphans come up to practice the Russian shoemaker play. They will leave at 3 am this Friday and perform this play at several Florida, Georgia, North Carolina and New York locations. We will take the train into Kiev each morning then jump on the Metro to the CBN offices for the next two or three days to see her. At around 1pm or so, we will repeat the process to get back in time to pick up the three kids.

My title has to do with the phenomenon of Ukrainian travel. I have ridden the Metro and at rush hour, you can be very close with people you have never met. But nothing compares to this morning's train ride. WOW! Now I know how sardines feel! We were quite literally squeezed into the train by the mob of people getting in the door. I spooned with several babuskas and honery men all the while not knowing what to do with my hands! If I left them by my side, they were definately stuffed next to someones "nether regions". If I raised them, I groped some poor babuskas "blouse area" in the process of getting them out of the previously mentioned "cracks". I told Heidi what was going on during this time (she was somewhere under my arm pit) and we both laughed histerically as we went bumpty-bump down the tracks. Great time!

The same kinda thing has happened to us on the Metro if and when we went during rush hour. One has to let go of personal space in this country. You are expected to participate in this version of personal closeness if you want to traverse the city with 6 million of your closest friends. Don't think that the little Marshukas (small city buses that take people from town to town, not to be confused with city buses) are any different either. I counted 45 people getting into our 35 seat marshuka from Kherson to Odessa last April.

It should be noted though, that I actively participate in the exceeding of capacity with our taxi driver. Who wants to pay double for the same ride? I have learned from the driver that the car is a 1965 Russian auto and that the right side brakes do not work. This car and I were "born" the same year! When the driver stops, the car veers left and he steers right. We repeat this overloading everyday with three adults and three kids in a car built for only four people. Do you guys remember the Datsun B210 (I had one)? This car is about that size. I wonder everyday if we will stop at the next intersection or if the left side brakes give out. Luckly, this driver is a kindly old man who I know can use the grivna we are paying. He drives slow and the price is right.

It only costs about $5 per trip for the taxi, about .40 cents for the metro, and .50 cents for the train to Kiev. For those prices, I'll gladly spoon with my buddy Igor, Ivan, Sasha.....

~ Felix ~