Day 13 - Heidi is going home

We made the decision today that Heidi should go home. There is nothing more for her to do here but wait, and our go-getter facilitator, Tanya, feels that things are very up in the air on the Interpol thing. I will stay in place and work things from here for the time being.

Heidi is taking the overnight train back to Kiev tonight and she will go wrap up her part of the US Embassy work in the morning. She will fly out Saturday morning, bound for Denver to get home to our children. Sunday will be a rest day with the kids and she wants to return to work on Monday.

I just put Heidi in the taxi twenty minutes ago and I really want to go bury my face in my pillow for awhile. But, Oksana is here to take me to church and get me past the initial separation. Ugh, my military deployments aren't this hard, I guess because I'm always the one departing. To say Heidi is my Rock, is an understatement.

Z is still at the sanatorium. You could hear Zina getting choked up when we broke the news to her. She will not get to see her mom this time. Rimma just called and reported that Zina is still crying. This certainly isn't helping my heart, either.

I can't imagine the scene when I take Rimma away for good and Zina stays behind. God, please give me strength.

Day 12 - Absolutely Nothing Happening

This is the part I don't like about Ukrainian adoption (well, apart from imposing new rules which go against SDA rules that are in place). The lack of information, the lack of courtesy of giving any information, and the lack of caring about giving any information to waiting families who are just sitting and wasting time. Heidi and I are burning through leave, away from our kids, and want to bring our daughter home.

Our facilitators are doing their best, but haven't been told anything either. We have been asked to stay on through the week with the possibility that news may come soon. If it doesn't, one or both of us may come home this weekend.

We visit Rimma for 2 hours each day after school. She's frustrated with the language barrier and is shy at trying to communicate with us, but it is getting better. The big ice-breaker is constant games of Go Fish in English.

We had a hard day yesterday. We were stopped or hindered at everything we attempted to do. It's funny now, but it wasn't so funny at the time. The first thing we did incorrectly was to assume that the number 8 bus goes the same route as the number 8 Martshuka. We got a traveling tour of some western neighborhood of Kherson. Oh well, we just figured that the bus would go in a circle back to our original boarding stop and we would recover. Nope! At the end of the line the money-taking lady spoke harshly at us and we explained that we must have missed our stop, in English. She demanded another 1.5 grivna (about 20 cents) to ride the bus further. We paid up and noted that the bus had simply turned around and was going backwards on its route. After several stops, the afore mentioned money-taking lady must have felt sorry for us because she was all smiles and friendly. She wanted to make sure that we got to the "central" street where we were looking for originally. Her warmness was a considerable spirit lifter for me and I cheered up for the time being. Having got off a few blocks short of where we were intending to go, we walked down to our intended target, the grocery store and lunch stop. The whole fiasco took an hour.

On our way back, we made sure we got the number 8 Martshutka this time. Well, not knowing the name of our bus stop near the Bible House and being stuffed in the back with iced over windows caused us to be dropped off a few blocks north of the orphanage which in turn is a few blocks north of the Bible House. We walked the eight blocks with groceries back to drop off the bags before walking back to the orphanage. Well, I wanted to lose weight.

After seeing Rimma and walking a few blocks north again, we thought it would be nice to use the internet cafe due to the sometimes spotty internet connection at the Bible House. Nope, sorry, no internet at the internet cafe tonight. Never mind that this is their singular reason to be open. Why not just turn the lights off and go home instead of luring weary, travel-ignorant Americans to your door!

After a light dinner at the restaurant across the street, we sought a taxi ride. No going wrong this time, right? After all, I have a business card from the Bible House complete with a map. Nope, this guy wants to continuously turn the wrong way and is smoking a cigarette with the windows up. At this point, I've had enough! I got to the room and just collapsed on the bed. Bad day complete, I pray for good days ahead.

The end of the week forecast is for the temp to be in the 20's & 30s, a virtual heat wave. I sure hope so. I need a little comfort.

~ Felix ~

Day 10 Update - Bitten by the Gotcha Bug!

On Friday I said that I have been looking over my shoulder waiting for the big "Gotcha" to slip up on us. Well, it has happened. The SDA has imposed a new rule on all adoptive families, including the ones already here...and we are caught up in it.

The SDA stopped our proceedings today and imposed a mandatory Interpol clearance on everyone. Tanya broke the bad news to us this morning. The SDA has up to 40 days to get such a clearance and there is no telling if families already here will be expedited. An Italian family has already gone home. All facilitators and are in an uproar and fighting for their clients. We may have to come home soon, too.

Tanya sent her friend Oksana to help us sign a notarized letter of authorization to let the SDA start this process on us. It was marked URGENT and she wants to fight to push it through. The document is on the overnight train and she will hand deliver it to the SDA (Tanya is in Kiev). From there the SDA gives it to another Ukrainian agency which actually orders the investigation. This hand-over could take 5 days alone. It is our hope that Tanya can push this all through and shorten the wait considerably. How short or how long, we don't know at this point. Tanya wants us both to hold out a couple of more days to see if the uproar from herself, fellow facilitators and the involvement of a particular country (not the US) might have the SDA rescind this new and sudden order. Also, we hope that we can "expedite" this!

So, Heidi may fly home this weekend, we don't know yet. I may stay and fight, But I don't know about that either. We are weighing our options right now. WE DESPERATELY NEED YOUR PRAYERS!

Day 10 - Daily Observations and Weekend Update

Heidi and I awoke early this morning and had a failed attempt at traveling to see Zina. She is in a sanatorium about two and a half hours away in a little village, northeast of here. Everyday that passes sets a record for the coldest day I have felt. This morning was no exception as we waited in vain at the bus stop for a Martshuka. We finally flagged down a taxi.

The small print says "Feels like -33F"

The bus station wasn't any warmer because they don't heat this public area. Heidi and I just couldn't get warm. Oksana was on hand to accompany us and she didn't seem to mind the -11 degree temp. After waiting for an hour at the bus station, we were told that there would be no bus to this little village, perhaps tomorrow. We had to call Zina and break the news. If we have court this week, Heidi plans to fly home a week early and will miss seeing Zina this trip. Zina gets back to the orphanage the first week in February.

There is no news to report this side of the world. Since our phone call from Tanya on Friday, we've been in a waiting mode. I wish this time counted towards our 10 day wait! We still pray for court this week and we see Rimma every day. She is subdued and quiet when Oksana isn't around to translate. Rimma knows some English, but is shy and afraid to try it. She texted Oksana 9 times yesterday while Oksana was in church. "Please come today, I want to speak with my parents." is the message that Oksana showed us on her phone.

Posing with Heidi & Oksana

Oksana said that she can tell Rimma is quite happy to be our daughter. She sees subtle little smiles, gestures, and acts of love whenever Heidi or I say something nice or hug her. I have taken to calling her Rimm-itchka or Rheem and she loves it, a term of endearment she has seldom heard from anyone. I am quickly learning Rimma's mannerisms, ones that I have seen before but had forgotten. No doubt she will continue to use them in lieu of speaking for the time being. She is cute when she does them.

Best friends, Rimma & Ilona

We took Rimma out of the orphanage all day on Saturday and Sunday. It's terribly cold as I have previously stated, but at least the Sun is shining and the sky is blue with no overcast and not a cloud in the sky. It's been this way since Saturday morning.

Having eaten several meals with Rimma now, she has told us that she doesn't like celery, mushrooms, radishes, cauliflower, broccoli, asparagus, salo, fatty sausage or fish. I'm with her on the salo and fatty sausage. Heidi is pleased that she doesn't like fish. Yeah, we don't have to buy the nasty bag of snack fish that our other kids love!

Now that I have sufficiently bored Matt, perhaps some daily observations are in order. I don't like it when people from other cultures don't at least try to assimilate with the country and culture in which they live. Pesky Americans that turn their noses up and talk trash about other cultures irritate me at best. After all, we are in THEIR country! If I have ever, accidentally I assure you, come across as looking down on Ukraine, I apologize. I like it here, my children are from here, and I respect the uniqueness of the culture. I just like home, more. These are mere observations of things that I have noticed that are different to what I am accustomed.

• Musically speaking, Ukraine seems to be time-warped to the late 80's. early 90's possibly. This is great for me, I spent my teens & 20's in this time frame. It was unusual to see Milli Vanilli dancing on screen to "Girl, I love you" the other night.
• All four wheels swivel on Ukrainian grocery carts, hey, why don't we do that! I'm perpetually in some body's way and this makes it easy to move over! Love it!
• Snow removal is a waste of time! The ice patches the long-existing potholes.
• Despite the ice and snow laden streets, no one ever gets into an auto accident.
• 26 (yes, I counted) can easliy fit into a 12 passenger Martshutka.
• There is always room for half-a-dozen more in above mentioned Martshuka.
• If you are thin, young, and female you MUST wear skin-tight jeans.
• Careful when you order pizza. Pepperoni sounds just like pepperchini from an English speaking mouth. Just like Mushino (man) sounds like Machina (car) to us.
  
  
  

Day 7 - Bad weather, good adoption!

Deep snow at the orphanage

The big news of the day is that Tanya called us about the court date. All of the documents that we could possibly need for court have been accomplished for the Kherson side of things. We spent a total of an hour and a half of document work since being here! Big Nick has done his part, Rimma has done her letter, the Inspector has signed her stuff, and the court application has been filed. All documents have been sent to the SDA in Kiev. Their consent letter is all we are waiting on now.

As for a court date, there are three possible scenarios, but all are good!

1. If the SDA gets the paperwork here by next Tuesday evening, we will have court on THURSDAY!
2. If the SDA gets the paperwork here by next Wednesday evening, we will have court on FRIDAY!
3. If the SDA gets the paperwork here by next Thursday or Friday evening, we will have court on MONDAY!

Nice, huh! This kind of expediency was not seen on our first trip, I can tell ya. But still, try as I may to be a “glass-is-half-full” guy, I’m keep looking over my shoulder and waiting for the big gotcha. Let’s pray that the only gotcha will be “Got-cha Day”!

Rimma's window

Big Nick’s only request of this whole process was that Rimma stay in school and that we limit our visits until after 3:45 each school day, Fridays until 3:00 pm. Big Nick (yes, he is big and his name starts with Nick) gave permission for Rimma to be with us all day Saturday and we didn’t ask about Sunday. Heidi says that Rimma went with her last year after church, so I’m sure he meant for the weekend. We have only seen Big Nick once this trip and that was at the initial meeting where he “joked” with Rimma. So far he has been very amiable and we will not push our luck. We are quite content to visit Rimma for a couple of hours each evening and on weekends. After all, I don’t know how many more games of UNO and Go Fish English lessons I can stand. While at the grocery store today, we bought a 500 piece High School Musical 3 puzzle to spend time with her. Before you ask for my “man-card” Matt, just know that I would do anything to spend time with my little girl!

After a game of Go Fish

Heidi and my ventures out into the sub-arctic like weather have been mostly been in search of sustenance. I’ve been to Kherson three times and each time I want to explore more of the city. But alas, the freezing weather and the constant snow storms have kept us to bus numbers 8 & 12. Number 8 takes us from the Bible House on the road towards the Lenin statue and the Dnieper River where we frequent the grocery store, John Howard’s pectopah, and the cafeteria. Number 8 also goes in the other direction towards the orphanage, Café Monya, Chelantanos pectopah and the Notary palace. Number 12 gets us to Oskar (Wal-Mart, bowling alley, appliance store, cafeteria all rolled into one) and to the two churches that we attend while in town. I’m sure that it goes elsewhere, but to where, I’m not willing to find out here in Kherson-Siberia.

We have visited again with friends made on our previous visits. Sergey has helped us as translator in the past and we have met up with him a few times. Andrei, the pastor’s son, went to church with us last night and helped us talk with Rimma today at the orphanage. He and his friend Vlad even played Go Fish with us and some of Rimma’s friends. We took Oksana and Helen to dinner last night at Oskar. Oksana will get to attend English school after all in Briton England this next fall. She explained that it was a Christian school and I’m sure AGAPE is helping her achieve her goal. Afterwards, she wants to do mission work in Africa somewhere. Wow, what an impressive girl!

Lenin & Me

Heidi and I and all of Ukraine still wait in anticipation of snow removal. We actually saw a Case backhoe tractor removing snow near the grocery store and Lenin statue. I wonder how Lenin would feel knowing that an American tractor is clearing his street while an American couple, who has purchased an American High School Musical puzzle, take a picture of his bronze likeness. I guess he would be happy for his people (yes, I know he was Russian) and content that he is still remembered. Here’s to you, Leny!

Day 6 - Prepping for Court

Downtown Kherson

Sorry that I had to blog and run last time. I had no idea that the Internet cafe closed at 8 pm. I was being asked to leave during that last paragraph. We went down the the cafe because the Bible House's wireless and my computer were fighting each other. It's all fixed now, so I will be able to post pictures and write after each day's events. I went back and posted the pictures to yesterday's blog.

We had a good visit with Rimma yesterday. After Big Nick's joke, she was a bit nervous, but all is well now. Rimma is a shy girl and she loves us and wants to be in our family, she just doesn't say much even though she is good with her English skills. We had to finalize her name for court so we pressed her to pick among her top five choices for a middle name (she, and we, want to keep her first name Rimma). Also, note that i have spelled Rimma before with one or two M's. I was informed by my teen-age daughter that it must be with two M's, hence Rimma. Mom and Rimma went round and round over the middle name, Heidi having her favorite and Rimma hers. Rimma stuck to her guns and after an hour Mom gave in to her, I was grinning the whole while. We can announce that she will be RIMMA RICHELE ROGE! I tried to explain that I wasn't crazy for alliteration, but it was lost in translation. I just hope she doesn't pick up the title, R cubed!

Little-Worker-Bee Tanya is running around getting documents notarized and sent to the SDA, regional inspector and the court. We visited the notary twice, a quite elaborate "palace" of a place where we got things done in quick order, twice. Very unlike the experience in Boyarka last year! Heidi begged to snap a picture. I'm sure I heard angels singing, I haven't seen churches this nice!

Signing at the Notary

Tanya said that if the inspector gets her work done and signatures down today, we could, best case, have court next Friday, a week from tomorrow. Worst case would be the following Monday. So we may be ahead of plan, but I ain't counting on it. Things continue on pace and are going well. Thanks for the prayers, we can feel them!

Speaking of praying, gotta go. We are off to church tonight with Sergie, Andrei, and Oksana. our three Christian youth friends here in Kherson. I'm excited to spend time with each one of them and I want to be on time. We will blog with you tomorrow. Thank you, thank you for all the comments, keep 'em coming.

Day 5 - We see the Girly!

Verily, the fine folks at the train company heard my many complaints and reduced the overbearing temperature of said former "shake & bake" sleeping compartment! I actually had my first great train experience although I still haven't gotten the ever elusive 1st class accommodation. The ride was a cool 60-ish degree temp and the driver never once, not once did he jar the cars! Wow, I was truly amazed and slept in fine fashion!

We are in Kherson! Tanya, the Kherson region facilitator, met us at the tracks and whisked us away to our room at the Bible House where we freshened up before taking on the tasks of the day. We learned, while we were boarding the train last night, that Tanya had sprung Rimma from the sanatorium and had her placed back in the orphanage, "to make things easier"! Wow, we were amazed at her take charge attitude. It seems as though she has the Kherson orphanage marching lock-step with her every order. Good for us, huh!

Our first order of business was to take off to the regional inspectors office. We dropped off our bags, brushed our teeth and jumped into the taxi just minutes after arriving at the Bible House. Ten minutes later we were sitting in the inspectors office. As we waited for her to retrieve the file, we perused the photo board by her desk and we got a glimpse of the Volf family picture recently stapled to her collection. Those Volf's are everywhere!

She eventually found the file and then made some comments that seem to be hinting that things weren't going according to plan. I asked about the situation and Tanya told us that Rimma had a little brother about 3 years old(which we knew about) and that the inspector was checking into his where-abouts. Yikes, our first scare (Kherson region does not split sibs). We explained that we knew this and that we were told by Rimma that he lived with his Dad, he had the same mother but different Dad, and that she had never met him. The inspector said that, yes, it could complicate the situation and before she gave us permission to go ahead, she must find out and clear it up. The next bit of news hit us like a ton of bricks...the inspector said that he was not with his Dad, but in an orphanage! Yikes, our second scare! Is he registered and if not, will he hold up Rimma's adoption? If he is registered, can we adopt him! The next bit of news from the inspector....wait for it...confirmed that the brother was adopted by a Ukrainian family last year and that Rimma was free and clear! So much for the Ukrainian double standard of not splitting sibs for foreign citizens!

Bullet dodged, we loaded up the very spry and friendly inspector into the tiny cab with us and headed off to the orphanage to meet with the director. On the way the inspector looked at our photo album and commented that she knew a 35 year old girl who would like to be adopted. Yeah, sure lady! After that scare you put us through! By the way, can you quit sitting on Zina's file and send it up to the SDA already!

We skied over to the orphanage (did I mention that Kherson is getting the snow storm of the century?) and entered the director's office. We sat down with the director, the orphanage lawyer, our facilitator, and the inspector. Everyone was jovial and happy, speaking with each other. Heidi and I just sat there with excited faces as they read off the details of Rimma's file.

And then, in a flash, Rimma entered the room and ran to Heidi! She gave her a great big hug and then she turned to me. Uhh, I didn't want to let her go! Rimma was invited to sit and they asked her the usual questions, "Do you want to be adopted, do you want these people to take you, do you want to live in America". I great big "Da" was heard every time until the last question. The director spoke and Rimma went quiet. Everyone around the table laughed and Big Nick (the director as I will call him) said some more words. It seems he told her that he changed his mind and was going to refuse the adoption. He was joking he said. Errrrr!

We finished up the day and visited Rimma later that day. Sorry to wrap it up fast, but we have to leave the Internet cafe. I'll write more soon. Stay tuned. All is going well!