Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Answering your questions...

I've been suffering a bit of writer's block as of late. In case you didn't notice, I went almost two weeks between posts last time! Sorry! Working my civilian job 40 + hours and then going out to my part-time Air Force job at night and one weekend a month has kept me busy. I've had to make up quite a bit of work, especially the AF gig...there's always tons of work to be done there. Both of Heidi's big construction projects at CU are in full swing, too. We are both fortunate to have this "over-employment". There a lots of friends out of work and searching, our hearts and prayers go out to them. Now you know how we afford the cost of international adoption!

Honestly, it's all we can do some days to keep up with the four sports the kids are involved in, my two workout programs, the kids homework, dinner prep, Julia's OT program, Nadia's purity class...uhh, the list goes on and on! Did I forget something, oh yeah, UOO and counseling about the BOB behavior. But this is something we wanted and something God has blessed us with, and so we press on.

So you may ask, why do I continue to write and why bother? Well, it's therapy folks! It makes me happy, and I hope it makes your day brighter, too.

But, as of late I've been considering shutting down the blog after Lizzie comes home. I'd write for a few months afterwards, but once we are done getting them all home, I might be done, too. We will have to wait and see. I have this crazy fantasy of printing up all of the blog and selling it as a book to pay for 4 weddings, six college degrees and donating the rest to UOO. Also, I want to save each kid a copy to read once they are grown, signed by the author, of course :-)"

Therefore (with writer's block in full-swing), I thought I'd answer a few of your questions. By all means, if anyone has "questions you have, but were afraid to ask", send them to me! I'll answer them to the best of my ability.

M asks: I know that with older kids - although I'm not sure what the age is - the child must actually SAY they want to be adopted by the people trying to adopt them. is this only for international adoptions or for ALL adoptions, even when the child will stay in Ukraine? the reason i ask is that i know Lizzie wouldn't just go off and accept a different family should one try to adopt her internationally, but i was wondering if she would be given any choice should a potential family be Ukrainian. i know the chances of a Ukrainian family wanting to adopt a child her age is practically non-existent, and i have no doubt she will be joining your family, I'm just curious about the laws for kids like her. :-)

M, I can't speak for all adoptions as I have only adopted from Ukraine (that may change if we don't get a boy with Lizzie this time). As far as Ukrainian adoption is concerned, yes, the child must agree and say yes to the adoption. The age part is in question, but I know six year olds who have refused adoption. Nadia, Julia, Kolya and Rimma all had to agree and write their consent on paper before witnesses.

In regards to an international or Ukrainian family adopting Lizzie, it is her choice. We have long told Rimma and Lizzie that if it was in their hearts to go to another family we would not be angry or stand in the way, being very supportive of their decision. We still hold true to that. Any family for them was always the main objective. That being said, Rimma turned down two Ukrainian families and chose to put her trust in us and wait for our promise to come for her. Lizzie is more adamant about being our child and most probably would never go with anyone else, either. It is not about feelings of loyalty due to our involvement in getting them registered. We, and she, truly feel the bonds of family...Mother, Father, Daughter.

Linda writes: If you could, could you tell me all of their ages? From all my guessing, you will have a house full of teenagers! Still love your blog, and keep up with it always. Linda xoxoxo to all.

Linda, thank you for following. Here's the breakdown. Only Nadia has had a birthday thus far this year, everyone else turns a year older, me included :)

Lizzie - 14
Nadia - 14
Rimma - 13
Julia - 12
Kole - 10

So, please buy my blog book when/if it comes out. The "Bank of Dad" is almost insolvent!


Anonymous said...

Hi, I have a question, but first let me say that I must have checked 200 times during that span of no posts, hoping that you had written an update. Your family is just so beautiful -- I love reading about all of you. My question is about your older two daughters, Jessica and Jordan. How do they feel about your new family?

Heidi and Felix said...


Great question! It was scary for me when I brokered the conversation with J&J, fearful of what they might say or think. It was funny now that I look back on it. They were more calm than I was! The UOO camps actually were the "deal maker"! Jordan dell in love with many of the Ukie kids on those camps and both girls knew it was just a matter of time and a natural occurence that we should adopt from Ukraine. Perhaps you asked this question because you wonder what your kids will say/think? Bring them out to a UOO camp, there's one this summer. See how the kids would fit into your life...that's part of why we do the camps. You can hang in the background or volunteer...for an hour or a day, or all camp!

But (long-winded I know) to answer your question. J&J love thie new sibs. Jess has used our case in some of her university classes (she is out of the house) and Jordan loves being a big sis. She used to be the youngest. Both girls consider them family.


Anonymous said...

Um, I think you have to pay for 6 weddings! You better write more than one book!!!

Cathy S

Cassc said...

So glad to see you're blogging again and to hear that things are moving forward in order to bring Lizzie home! I understand that it must be hard to find the time to parent an active (and actively growing) family and blog and I think your story would make an awesome book, but I hope that you haven't made the final decision to wrap up your blog. Even if it's not very often, I know I'd love to hear how you guys are doing, adjusting and the wisdom that grows as your family matures!!

About Us

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Longmont, Colorado, United States
Heidi loves to play sand volleyball, sail and garden. Felix loves to fly at the local aeroclub, sail and fish.