Emergency Room

Last night at 11:30 Heidi got home from volleyball. Did we mention she plays 2 person sand VB? She woke me up and told me she was having stomach pains. She thought it was because of a turkey sandwich she had earlier. The pain got worse and worse as the night progressed and neither one of us got any sleep. Around 5 am or so she finally relented to my constant requests to go to the doctor. She spent the next couple of hours in the bathroom, "getting ready" and somewhere in there, I dozed off. I awoke to her crying in the bathroom and so we set off to the clinic to get there by 8am when they opened. No sooner did we get there, she started having the most intense abdominal pain she has ever experienced. The doctor took a look at her and settled on three possible outcomes - kidney stones, twisted ovary, or appendicitis. He sent us to the hospital for further evaluation. Heidi cried like I have never seen before as I drove to the emergency room.

The doctor had called ahead so that when we arrived, they wheeled her straight in to ER triage. A blood test, CT scan, and pelvic exam revealed appendicitis. She was taken straight into surgery and came out within 45 minutes. I had to wait about an hour to see her and in the meantime, our friends Aimee and Lisa arrived at the hospital to see us. When we got in to see her, she was excited and started speaking with us non-stop until it was time to wheel her into the surgical overnight "hotel" room. Wow, it's a pretty swank joint, but I'm sure she would rather be home.

Long story short - She kicked butt in Women's queen of the beach VB tourney, thought she ate some bad bird, rescheduled her day, called in sick, went to the doc's, traveled to the ER, donated a few tubes of blood, got some way cool legal drugs, buzzed back and forth in the CT scanner, got rid of yucky old appendix, woke up in time to tell me and our friends about her awesome play in the tournament, ate some pancakes, talked to family in Chicago, and now she is going to sleep for the night. So, she is OK and doing fine.

They expect to release her in the morning and she will be on the couch all day. For now, we await the next CRISIS!

Dossier Update

Our dossier is almost complete! We have been working on it consistently since the first week of June, so this is a huge milestone. For those of you wondering what could possibly take so long, here is a list of what we have to include in the package we send to Ukraine:

1. Home Study
2. Adoption Agency's License
3. Social Worker's License
4. Letter from agency about social worker
5. I-171 (INS pre-approval for our kids to be US citizens - this form is like GOLD)
6. Passport copies
7. Colorado Criminal Clearances
8. Employment Verification Letters
9. Doctors' Medical Forms
10. Doctors' Licenses
11. Deed to our home
12. Marriage License
13. Petition to Adopt
14. Letter of Obligation

Whew!! The only thing we're waiting for is updated medical forms from our doctors. We had our medical exams and blood tests in July. We needed updated forms because Ukraine requires that no document be more than 6 months old when you submit your dossier.

The next step will be to take all of these documents to the Secretary of State in Denver http://www.sos.state.co.us/pubs/bingo_raffles/apostille.htm to have them apostilled. This is an authentication of each notary's signature. We should receive the documents in two days...and they it's off to Ukraine for translation.

We have amended our home study to read 1 to 3 children, ages 4-14. We did this in response to the overwhelming feeling we received while hosting the camp in December and from a friend's blog. Leslie who adopted Kristina, also showed us that older children are just as precious. See her blog at http://kristinasstory.blogspot.com/ Initially, as most adopters do, we thought we had to have young children. So, we initially put 2-9 yr olds on our home study.

We should explain that we have made the difficult decision of going ahead with our already planned and prepared adoption for this year. In is painful and difficult because we will not be able to adopt Zina this time because of her registration issue and the fact that there is a mandatory 12 month wait for international adoption after she gets registered. (It will be a couple of years, we estimate)

This does not mean that we have given up. On the contrary, we are taking steps and we have communicated to her orphanage director that we want to host her in the US all summer. We will continue the fight to get her registered. We have spoken with the director and have let him know we will help him with the registration process of not only Zina, but the other children that visited on the hosting program. The director asked us to wait until February and call him to find out what action has been taken by the courts on his parental relinquishment request. We fear nothing will happen as has been the case on his last couple of requests (not his fault, just the bureaucratic system). We will wait and see in February, but we will "lawyer up" in preparation for non-action for her. We will, at some point really soon, have to tell her this and I'm sure it will not be pleasant for us all.

No matter what some piece of paper says or what governments say, she is our daughter in our hearts. We will get her home. We can see that our future vacations will be to Ukraine to visit her, probably twice a year. And yes, we will go a week early when we get our eventual appointment to see her and be with her. She is our family now and her portrait hangs on our wall at home. God bless and keep you Zina, we love you!

Yep, she has a cell phone!

Our friend Ellie who speaks Russian & Ukrainian made contact with R & Z this morning, evening their time. Zina does in fact have a cell phone. It was given to her by an Italian family. We know that R & Z went on a hosting trip to Italy in 2006. I'm not sure still how she came by the cell phone or what to do about calling her. Perhaps we could find out more and pick up the bill? Zina made it clear that she wishes to be adopted by only us and she wants to come to Colorado.

Ellie spoke to Rimma and she confirmed that she doesn't want to be adopted. She wouldn't say why just like she wouldn't tell Gene. She apologized dozens of times, Ellie said. She wanted us to know she is sorry and didn't want to hurt our feelings. Ellie asked if she would ever change her mind and she said, maybe. Again, we would never pressure her and we will respect her wishes. We just don't want to getting ready to take Zina home and then have a crying regretful child. So, we will include her in the registration process.

When Ellie asked Zina if she changed her mind, she said no. In fact, in Ellie's words, she said she wants to come, with an exclamation point!

We fear that Zina doesn't understand that this will take a long time, even though we have expressed this again and again. We will make a point of writing her every week and letting her know we care and we are here. And, of course, reminding her to be patient. I know that this is the toughest part of all for a 12 year old.

Sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing by telling her early and before she left that we want to adopt her and we will come for her one day. But then I am reminded of what she said that last night with us...about having hope and that time will be easier now.

I am also comforted in the words of a book that I am reading now entitled, Fields of the Fatherless by C. Thomas Davis. On page 86, he talks of The Power of Planting Seeds. There he writes,

"One of the most significant seeds we can ever plant - especially in the life of
someone who is fatherless - is the seed of hope. A field has no hope of a future
crop without the planting of a seed. Hope is vital to every person's survival,
especially when the odds are completely against him."

Taking a chance

OK, so after repeated prayers we decide to see what's up. We ask another friend and translator Ellie (Lilya is out of town) to call for us. Several attempts offer no connection as something is wrong with our phone card or country code. Did I mention we bought a Ukrainian phone card. Lilya showed us a website where you can get cheap phone cards ($10 for 120 minutes).

Today we tried on our own after Ellie's attempts. Heidi searched on the Internet for country and city codes. After ten different combinations of codes plus the number she gave us - we finally get get through. On the other end is the voice of a young girl, not Zina's. We try in vain to communicate. We hear a few girls whispering. It is 8 am Monday morning for them and perhaps they were attempting to be quiet and not disturb others. Heidi says her name a few times and towards the end of the conversation a voice repeats "Heidi", perfectly pronounced. (When the caretakers and children were here they initially mispronounced Heidi's name. Only after practice could they say it perfectly pronounced.) We believe that either Rimma or Zina was speaking. Quickly the line goes dead and we decide to not call back until we can get a translator. Besides, perhaps there was a reason they hung up fast.

An orphan with a cell phone??

Gene e-mailed us today and said that Zina wants us...to call her...on her cell phone!! Uhh, WHAT!!?? I'm excited to be able to call her and speak with her but, how does an orphan obtain a cell phone? Excuse me if that is a little "un-pc" but, I'm shocked. A million questions are running through our minds. Who bought her a cell phone? Are there other interested persons (which is a good thing for her)? Did one of the caretakers from the host program get it for her? Did one of the Virginia folks buy it? Does the phone belong to another child there. Is it OK, right, allowable, or ethical to talk to a child without the knowledge or OK of the director? Is talking on someone else's "dime" a right thing to do?

We will pray about this one and get back to ya!

We make contact

Gene found them! He relays that they girls were excited to know that we sent him there and that it was done very soon after they got back. He said that Zina had written a letter to us and she could not mail it. It seems that she did not get the envelopes and stamp money that we gave to the caretaker. He said he will take the letter, translate it, and mail it the next day. He took pictures of the girls and a picture of a card Zina made for us. It is the third picture and it says,

Heidi and Felix
Merry Christmas

I love you my family
I love you my home
I love you my cat (Pepper slept on her most nights)
I love you my frandlili (she is refering to our friend and translator Lilya)

I vont Colorado (we guess she means I want to live in Colorado)

Gene gives us some news that Rimma has changed her mind. We don't know why or if she just got caught up in the moment while she was here. She did state once when she was here to Lilya that she didn't understand why no one would adopt her, so we are a little confused. No worries though. We would never ask or make her do anything that is not in her heart, but we may help her get registered so that if she ever changes her mind, she may get a nice family. Perhaps it is her youth and not understanding what is at stake. Perhaps she has been contacted by family or by someone in the Virginia visit. Whatever the reason, we will honor her wishes. Gene said that Zina confirmed this in her letter to us.

Zina, however, wants to be with us. She is ready to go, but in our letters to them (we have written 3 in the past 3 weeks) I remind her to be strong and brave. I remind her that the process will be a couple of years and with God's blessing, we will help her. It is our sincere desire to adopt her if we can get her registered. If that never happens, we will help her get to the US, even if she is over the adoptable age. It is a promise I made to her and to God, "I will come for you" I said at the airport on the day she departed. Those were my last words to her in person. This child is our daughter, no matter what government, distance, or birth certificate states.




Rimma 11(left) & Zina 12(right)

We hire Gene

We don't wait to take action. By the end of the week we learned of a guy that will find information for us about why the girls aren't registered. He will also find out where they are and get the director's information. His name is Gene and he lives in Ukraine. Gene comes highly recommended and he conducts bio-family searches. We wire money to Ukraine and await action. It is our responsibility and calling to help these childeren get registered. We have interest in R & Z, but if we get them registered and some other family adopts them, then that is God's plan and we wil be happy for them. We start with Rimma, Zina, Eduard and Vika. Four of the 17 that came to our hosting trip.